INTO THE SILENCES

Our priest, revLois, has introduced periods of silence into our worship. It began the first Sunday in Advent and the silences were short. The first silence just before the confession during the Penitential Order; the second after the sermon, the third during the Eucharist just after the breaking of the consecrated bread.

The silences were very short in the beginning, lengthening week by week. I welcome these silences. They help me to focus on my worship 'business' at appropriate times. Before the confession I have the opportunity to consider more deeply those things that I have done and those that I have left undone. It is an opening up to God. It is a cleansing time, even before the absolution.

The silence after the sermon is, of course, time to reflect upon what the sermon says to me. At first there was much rustling of service leaflets and general fidgeting in the congregation. But as the season of Advent progresses, the silences are becoming still. We reflect. We sit in the quiet. Perhaps we just rest ourselves from the week's busyness. Whatever. We are still. We are in silence with God.

Just before receiving God's spiritual food is the best silence of all. A time to truly appreciate the gifts we are about to receive. A time to fully remember that we are the People of God. We are in the company of all God's people everywhere. ALL God's People.

I try to take the practice of silence home with me. It is not the same. There is just something enormously special about the corporate silence, just as corporate worship is special and different from my private worship. I will look forward to the silences next Sunday.

COMMENTS

Please read Lois' "Upon Moderating comments" over on Rambling's With Lois. I seem to have been hit by the same person. I think I now have my blog set to moderate comments. I don't like doing it as much as Lois does not like it. Sometimes things are just necessary for our own sanctity and those of our readers.

Sorry to any of you who were subjected to the off subject comment.

THE UPPER ROOM

WE are in the upper room. Grace Church is in that upper room. The disciples did not know how to cope without Jesus. They locked themselves into the upper room because they were fearful. Grace Church has locked itself into the past because we are fearful of losing the past. The disciples could not understand the death of Jesus and how they could go on with life. The Grace Church congregation does not understand the death of Grace Church as we know it or consider how to go on with life.

The disciples did not realize that life would never be the same. Grace Church does not realize that she will never be the same. Death changes everything. Death changes life. And so we sit as the disciples sat. Frightened. Bereft. Hopeless. Aimless. We are an apathetic bunch, waiting for things to get back to the way they were. Waiting. Hopeless. Aimless.

The disciples waiting in the upper room did not have the experience of the resurrection. We do. We have heard the story over and over and over again. Do we believe? Do we REALLY believe in resurrection? We are NOT the disciples sitting in the upper room. We have the benefit of knowing the story. We have the benefit of knowing that Jesus came to his bereft disciples and is already with us. If we believe we will look to resurrection and what that means to us right now.

It is not going to happen on it’s own, folks. We have to believe it. More that that, we have to LIVE it. Death changes life. We are being changed. NOTHING will ever be the same. We can accept that or we can deny it. Denial will be a slow and agonizing death. Accepting that this death we are experiencing will change how we gather, how we worship, how we view ourselves as disciples in the community is a call to act. What we DO!

Wake up, people! It is time to DO! It isn’t about what the church can do for us, it is about what we can do as church. We have to DO the doing. Wake up, people, everywhere. We don’t have to sit idle and frightened, locked in an upper room. We can gather together in hope and go out into the world living out the Good News. And we can encourage and support one another in our individual and collective endeavors.

Grace Church as we have known it is DEAD. It can be remembered. It can be celebrated as a good thing of the past. Now, let us all work together to resurrect ourselves as a church that will be a monumental credit to those who have gone before us and a church worthy of who we are as a people of today and build for tomorrow.

Death changes life. Let us choose the new life that we can be.

Jesus is here. Choose Jesus and the new life.

LESSONS LEARNED FROM AUNT MARY

Actually, the title might be Lessons BEING Learned from Aunt Mary.

We drove over to Springfield for my annual visit (Jacq gets there twice a year or more.). Aunt Manry was prepared. She had her latest paintings on display in the living room. Last year she won first prize for this painting -- Girl with Umbrella.

There were two more paintings that she has done since then. She has discovered a new medium -- watercolor that paints like her tried and true oil. This is a better medium for her now that she is reaching her 101st birthday. It isn't quite like oil. Very similar. She is still learning about it. She is wanting to do more experimenting with it but she has two commissions to be done before she can allow herself that extravagance of time.

One hundred and one and experimenting with a new medium. Now that's a lesson to learn -- we are NEVER too old for the new 'stuff' that is constantly appearing.

Mary said she was turning over a corner of her living room to her artwork done AFTER one hundred. She would take down the portrait she had done of my uncle and a couple of other wonderful paintings and put up this prize winner and two other paintings done this summer with the new medium. (Really sorry I didn't take pictures of them while we were there -- next time.)

Soon after our arrival Mary's granddaughter and husband arrived with pizza and salad for lunch. Mary had 'a bite' of salad but certainly enjoyed the pizza. We caught up on news. Laughed. And soon it was time to move to the kitchen for haircutting -- Mary is particular about convenience of maintenance and because her hair was getting in the way she had been at it with sewing scissors. I had the privilege of giving her a nice shingled haircut that would make for ease of maintenance, for a while anyway. She pulled some strands onto her forehead to create some wisps for what she feels is an expansive forehead. Lesson: always care about your appearance.

It was Saturday and the kitchen radio was broadcasting an opera. "I'm trying to learn to like opera," she informed me. Not "appreciate" but 'like." Another area of learning -- stretch from what is familiar and comfortable and challenge yourself. Amazing!

From the kitchen window we could see snow coming down in great whorls and so we decided that we must be on our way back to Indiana before we were caught. It was a bit of a sad parting. We were just past the getting comfortable stage and ready to share our important feelings and insights. Another year. Way too long.

Will there be another visit? God willing.

ANNUAL VISIT TO INDIANA....

...to stay with my sister, Jacq. To relax. To laugh, reminisce, cry if needs be. Sisters are something pretty special. At least mine is. She just accepts me. The whole me. Whatever size or shape or attitude or weird phase I happen to currently espouse. She just loves me. It is the most wonderful gift of the whole world.

SOooo, I have pretty much wrapped up my current responsibilities at church. Today we hosted an Open House so that we might come face to face with others that share our space. We have a Haitian Baptist group that has been worshiping at our church for over twenty years, The Temple of Deliverance who has been worshiping at our church for three years. We worship at different times and this was an opportunity to get to talk with one another and share some of our story. As Episcopalians we are blessed to be able to share our space with such diverse worshipers. There are also three AA groups, a Mental Health Support group, Literacy Volunteers, and other community groups.

Our church is also in the process of assisting one of the local Methodist churches in their annual Community Thanksgiving Dinner. This is their tenth year and as with many congregations their numbers have dwindled over the years and so we decided to be a part of that with them. It is coming to the place where many churches cannot do alone what they did in the past. And how simple to join forces. I hope that we can do more of this community work.

Packing, of course. I sent a box of clothes ahead as I will be in IN for two weeks. And getting the house ready for Thanksgiving. I return the day before the PA family comes up for the holiday. The dining room table and chairs are arranged and the table linens and decorations placed. I even had the inspiration to make and freeze a scrumptious Sunday Italian Gravy for our Friday or Saturday meal. It is going to be great fun and I am going to be refreshed and renewed from my visit.

Two more days. I am so excited. Our Vestry meeting is Monday evening and I fly out on Tuesday. I am the Parish Clerk and as part of the Vestry I really want to be at every possible meeting. We are at a critical stage. The make or break stage. The, when are we going to have to close the doors stage, so I want very much to be part of the decision making.

Two more days.

PRAYER

Sometime during the wee smalls of Sunday night/Monday morning, I was awakened. "Pray for Dodie," I was instructed. And so I did. I prayed for Dodie whose heart is severely damaged and who has suffered repeated heart attacks. He refuses to have the five by-pass surgery that his cardiologists suggest would help. He's ready, he tells his lovely wife,Tomi. He's ready to die. He is ready to be with God. Whenever.

Tomi works in the accounting department in the doctor's office where I share the responsibilities for the front desk service operations. Tomi is a year older than I and I am seventy one. Dodie is up there too. And he has made his decision -- no by-pass surgery. She will honor his decision.

I prayed for Dodie.

When I went in to work today and talked with Tomi, she told me that Dodie was doing better today but that yesterday was NOT a good day for him and that during that night he had a really hard time.

Comparing times, we concluded that the message that came to me probably corresponded to Dodie's distress during the wee smalls. Coincidence? Maybe. Maybe you would think that. I don't. I KNOW that I was called upon to be in contact with God as Dodie was having his difficult time.

God needs help. When God calls, I respond. I do prayer. Prayer is what I do.

THE DAY OF THE MOOSE

Well, it's as good as an entrance back into this world of blogging that I can mange right now. But anything is a breakthrough from all of the silence to whicdh I have subjected y'all.

So here it is: Barbara meeting the 'meese' in Bennigton, VT.

So here you have Barbara meeting life. This day it was enjoying the artwork of the Benninton meese. The next day I was involved in the life of outlet mall shopping. Today I am enjoying a respite from doing 'vacation' because the rain is falling and offering the peace of quietude. A time to relax and be. Watch a little TV. Read. Do a Sudoku puzzle. Knit. Yes, knit. Soon I will show y'all my adventures into knitting having been inspired by the Yarn Harlot.

And maybe I can even get back on track and do some more frequent postings. I have been mulling that. Just what to post and not to post. We'll see the results of these mullings. I have been symied lately by some sort of intimidation. But maybe I am over that now and can go back to publishing my rants and opinions.