PRAYING HIV/AIDS

There is something to be said for daily suggestions about thought and prayer. Today I was able to pray at random times and thoughtfully about the HIV/AIDS situation. Initially, I get angry with God for allowing such travesty. I don't stay angry long. I hurt. I hurt for the wrongs in the world. They aren't God's wrongs. There are just bad things. And so I pray for those suffering. I pray for the ones who care for them. I pray for the ones who have died and who are going to die. On and off. All through the day. It has been a day filled with prayer.

A day of Thankfulness also. I am thankful for the advances in medicine that are beginning to get a handle on this virus. I am thankful for the research. I am thankful for the medications that are now available. I am thankful for the grace that we have been given to love and be loved regardless of our afflictions.

FOLLOWING JESUS

This "Follow me" thought was part of my morning breakfast reading. I hope to be following this Advent Calender through all of Advent. I am hoping that the coming days give me not quite so difficult propositions. This is HARD. Really hard!

How will I answer the call? I am not liking it that I am questioning that I am not already doing it. And that gives me reason to question whether I am doing it good enough. And just what is good enough, anyway? So I am going to give myself credit for thinking I am answering the call -- present tense. That at least the journey is in progress. That I am aware of what I do and how and even why.

ADVENT 1 2009

Don't know how it got to be Advent already. Seems like it was just Easter. My father-in-law said, too many times more than once, 'It's tough to get old.' Well, at seventy two I don't feel like I'm old yet. Time sure is doing funny things though. I am becoming a believer in the time warp. You know, the theory that time isn't' really linear, that it evolves in and through and back and beyond and forward and back again -- and all at the same time. That's why it seems as though it were just Easter and, walla, here it is Advent.

Our priest, revLois, gifted us an Advent Calender. Each day is a little cartoonish type drawing with a variety of inspirational thoughts and ideas. It is perfect for the kid in me to want to color. So I am thinking gel pens and highlighters, maybe some color pencils. Fun stuff. And THEN I had the idea of posting it up on the "Purple Crayon" project board at church and .... and .... and... what? That took a bit of thinking. I finally decided to cut the days separate from the frame of the calendar and just post the frame, adding in the days as I got into church to paste them up. AND then, I thought maybe other people would do their own days and paste them up. Maybe not, but wouldn't that be fun?

This is how it looks on this first day of Advent. The text is a prayer, "Almighty God, give us grace to cast away the works of darkness, and put on the armor of light ..." I really liked the thought of putting on an armor of light. Rather like a protection against all the things that trouble me. All the nonsense of the world. All the frivolous stuff that drives me crazy. Also the darkness of allowing time time to dither me and throw me into a panic. An armor of light to carry me more wholly into the world. Hmmmm, maybe I can even make that more 'holy.' I like that thought even more.

And so I begin this Advent with a 'lightened' spirit.

Follow the journey with me if you wish......

THE TICKING OF TIME

I have a small bedside travel alarm that ever so softly goes tick, tick, tick, tick. Each tick soft and distinct and separated by a slight pause. On the far side of the room there hangs an eight day coo coo clock. It cannot go a whole eight days because the ceiling is not high enough for the weights to be able to drop eight days worth. But that's okay, it goes for five days before I need to pull up the weights. This clock generally goes TOCK, TICK. I know this sounds strange and I have concentrated on hearing TICK, TOCK but it just isn't. It is a very definite TOCK, TICK.

In the wee smalls of this morning, however, when I awakened to a quiet, restful peace, and lay awake listening for the hour to strike, there was a different rhythm. Now, my sister has a coo coo that is only a twelve hour coo coo. The tick of this coo coo sounds to me as a frantic ticktickticktickticktick with no pauses in between at all. The grandfather clock at my sisters keeps time with a rich and regal TICK pause TOCK pause TICK pause TOCK etc. This aside is to illustrate that I am well aware of a lot of different ticking sounds and rhythms.

So in this morning's wee smalls as I listened, I heard -- TICKity, TOCK, TICKity, TOCK, TICKity, TOCK. Very strange. I listened for quite a while and it did not change. Four o'clock came and went as did the half hour, and then five. I decided that I had been in bed for long enough and just got up, showered, had oatmeal and coffee and am on with my day.

Any why does all this ticking seem important to me today? Could be because it is my seventy second birthday and I am all too aware of the ticking of time. Which, by the way, seems to be passing me by faster and faster all the time.

AND -- Advent begins tomorrow. Didn't we just do that? Obviously not. And so .... on into Advent ...

MOVING ON TO PIMSLEUR

I slogged through the first lesson of Tell Me More. It was a challenge. More of a challenge than I need right now. I did finish that first lesson -- a lot of it was hit and/or miss. It starts out pretty easy and there is some fun stuff in it. Like puzzles to fit Spanish audio words into; voice graphs to help with pronunciation; good sound so that I could hear words and phrases. All in all a very good program. The frustration seeped in when I realized that the program was presupposing some knowledge on my part that I just did not have. Like the conjugation of simple verbs and like male and female nouns. The frustration became too much.

Back to the public library and back to square one. The librarian introduced me to Pimsleur Language Programs. One version comes in a little IPod type thingie called Playaway. It fits into the palm of my hand, has a headphone jack, and even comes with a spare battery. There are eight chapters and I am midway through Chapter 4. The verb conjugations and noun genders are worked into the explanation of the conversations. AND I get to take part in the conversations -- or so it seems. The 'how do you answer?' parts are especially good because they are repetetive. And the repetitive parts aren't boring, just consistent throughout.

The problem for me in this Pimsleur is that it is all audio. I don't get to SEE the words. SO. I have learned something new about myself. Well, it isn't new, it's old, just a new revelation. I learn visually as much as audibly. In fact, if I had to choose one, it would be the written word over the spoken word. I have always needed to write things down in order to commit them to memory. Perhaps my brain photographs graphics better than it stores sounds. Hmmmm... interesting.

One of the doctors at the office where I work speaks Spanish. She said she would help me practice. The think is that it is embarrassing to practice. I know I am pronouncing slowly, clearly and distinctly. I know this because the words on the audio run together. I hear the words singly and then when they are in a sentence they sound totally different. That is why I think it would be helpful for me to SEE the words. Don't know. AND it would be helpful to have others working and struggling with me.

I will struggle onward. It is exercising my brain. And when I finish this Pimsleur The Short Course, I will see if the public library has the "long" course and then I will go back to Tell Me More. There are a lot of options.

TELL ME MORE

"Tell Me More" is the name of a language program that can be accessed through some library web sites. The Darien Public Library, of which I have been a patron for forty six years, does not have the program -- or any other for that matter. AND they were reluctant to go to bat for me to gain access at the Norwalk Public Library. Their solution was that they might look into purchasing the program or something similar for our library -- the keyword here is "might" and that is not helpful to me.

I appealed, therefore, to the Norwalk Public Library and their director was gracious enough to gift me with a bar code so that I can access the program from their website. When I spoke with his assistant, I was telling her that I was going to try to get a group together at our church so that we could be support and encouragement for one another. She allowed as how I might not have great luck because the number of card holders to the population of Norwalk is fairly low. I find this strange. From the time our sons were first allowed contact with the general public we went weekly, as a family, to the library. In fact as a youngster in New Castle, Indiana, I biked all the way across town, on my own, to the public library. Being a library patron has been a part of my growing up process. And seeing as how am still in the process, it will go on for the rest of my life.

"Tell Me More" offers many languages, but for the reasons in the preceding blog post, I am interested in Spanish -- Latin American Spanish, there was that option. And so I began. It is very hard. My last language experience was in German in the '55'/'56 school year and I barely passed. In fact I think the passing grade was hinged on my promise to not continue into another semester. Latin in High School was a similar disaster. I surmised from these experiences that I was just not a language student. A LOT of years later, I am not willing to accept that surmise. My current reading about brain development and processing tells me that I can still learn.

As I said, it is hard. When I began I felt as though I had been plunked down in the middle of the beginning with no instructions. I floundered onward. I am used to text book and paper and pencil learning. This learning is through voice sound and seeing the words associated with the spoken words. Sound graphs show me how a word is and then when I speak the word it is graphed below that so that I can compare. Very hard. All this new technology in learning!

There are also fill the letter into the puzzle boxes in answer to a voiced word. I love puzzles, so this was a challenge and I wasn't too bad at it. I stumbled upon a vocabulary list during one session but haven't seen one since. That might be helpful to me -- or not. Don't know.

I do know that I am excited about learning something new. I am excited about the possibilities of conversing with our Latino friends, however simply. 'Hola" is good. It's a start.

LANGUAGE BARRIER

We are in conversation with the local Latino congregation for a future merge. They are a much younger congregation than we are. There is energy. There is love. They represent heritage from a variety of Central and South American countries. Their mission priest is from Puerto Rico -- and only six years ago. It is opportunity abounding. For all of us.

At our first meeting we had an interpreter. Last evening's meeting we were on our own. Their priest, Jose Diaz, speaks English very well. Our priest, Lois Keen, is learning. Their young people are all bilingual. We are not -- any of us. We did a Bible study together using the Gospel appointed for this Sunday -- Jesus sending out the disciples to preach and anoint and heal. Jose and Lois read each in their own language and then in the other's. It was really hard understanding the responses from some of them. I felt that I was really missing a lot by not hearing them. AND, of course, it took away from the meaningfulness of the Bible study -- at least for me. I am almost seventy two. The thought of learning a new language is daunting.

One of my recent interests is in the brain and I am finding out amazing things. The brain has plasticity and can keep on learning at any age. In fact learning a new language is one of the greatest opportunities for growth -- along with learning to play a musical instrument or knitting. And in the learning our brains stop aging and put dementia and Alzheimer's at bay. Sounds like a plan.

God is calling us in new directions, both as community and individually. I have suggested that our people learn the new language together. But we seem to be a busy people and that isn't going to happen. It is difficult to learn such a new thing without support and accountability. I am still working on how I am going to do that. But, God willing, I am going to figure it out.