This is just about the best I can do for now. Just hang in and cope. The phone keeps ringing. The sump pump stumbled and there is water all over the cellar floor. The oil burner smells -- the service guy will come when he can. My Spanish essay isn't even started. I'm behind on my Lent discipline. Laundry needs folding. I am feeling pressured by all these silly aggravations of my life. God doesn't care about any of this, so I think I'll just take a few deep breaths, pray for a little calmness, and get busy.
Jeff has been leading us through some different ways of understanding our own stories. We know one another through the sharing of our stories. First we need to know and remember our own past before we can understand and appreciate the stories of others. And we have to learn to be comfortable telling our stories and making others comfortable when they tell theirs.
This morning after our service we were given yet another exercise to awaken memories and record them for ourselves. There are just so many ways that we can do this. Today we were given a standard sheet of copy paper and the choice of writing/drawing implement. I had my purple gel pen with me so I was all set. We were instructed to choose an 'elder' or some person in our life that had been a significant influence. Hmmmm.... I am nearly seventy-four. A LOT of people have influenced who I am. I chose my dad.
The next part of the instruction was to write that persons name in the center of the paper, circle it if we wanted, and t h e n whatever popped into our mind, draw a line, write it down -- words or pictures. And if that thought sparked another, draw a line, identify the thought -- an so on. We were given ten/fifteen minutes. My mind works quickly so I drew lines and circles and words and simple pictures. And then I stopped and looked at all of it and was surprised.
Jeff asked: "What did that feel like for you?" Most said that it brought back forgotten memories. For me it was a surprise. It seems that I am much like my dad and hadn't realized the similarities. It made me feel good. And sad. Notice the heart with the hole that he left in my life when he died. Also notice that he was so connected to my sister and she to me with a love that is so binding, and the love of God, who holds me in God's hands.
Sunshine and blue sky. After all of the nasty dreary weather we have had this is a welcome relief. A lift of the spirits. Plus today is our Mission Outreach gathering at Grace. We are talking about and learning how each one of us can make a difference in the community around us. Not a throw money at an established group kind of thing -- a real hands on face to face offering. We are still in the discussion stage and beginnings are slow and sometimes cumbersome. We are, however, exploring opportunities and open to challenge.
The Week In Review
The washer was repaired on Monday for $25 in parts and not too many hours of Bill's labor. Sure beats the $850 we were thinking. Accolades for Bill!! Then, of course, the sump switch got turned off and when I arrived home from church Tuesday evening the cellar had a layer of water. Oh, well. You win some you lose some.
We held a bilingual service on Wednesday with our resident congregation, Iglesia Betania. Ashes and Eucharist and hymns in Spanish and English and RevLois preached alternating Spanish and English, as did Padre Jose when he celebrated the Eucharist. Slowly we are growing together.
My eight thirty AM dentist appointment yesterday wiped me out for the rest of the day. That and the rain are just a lot to handle together. And the rain continues into today. I am hoping the weekend will give us a little relief. That would be really nice since Saturday night we will have to set the clocks ahead and, once more, give our internal body clocks a jolt.
I am dressed in shades of blue today because the softness of pastel blue is comforting for me. I have spent two hours in the dentist chair and I am wiped. No pain. Just the pressure on my teeth and 'stuff' in my mouth, and the sound of the drill, and the smells of everything. The dentist is a love and we have marvelous conversations. This crown that just went in is as close to perfect as it could be. It just slipped right, was seated comfortably, the bite is right, and all is well.
Then the drill. Novocaine because it was getting too deep. And then the decay had gone past filling and into the inlay stage. That took more time and another x-ray and another impression. It was a lot. I am not thirty any more and it has taken a LOT out of me. BUT, put on the comforting colors; get a comforting can of tomato basil soup; and off to work I go.
It is cold, overcast and dreary. I am feeling introspective and pensive. It must be the "ashes to ashes" thing of this beginning of Lent. So it seemed like a good time to play with the color options on my camera and see what happened. There is a sepia and a cyanatype option. The blue of cyanatype made a much brighter and optimistic picture. The sepia was more how I am feeling. Old in the fashion of time and thoughtful. Almost sad but not quite. Waiting.
I have settled on a Lenten discipline which I will just keep to myself for now. It requires both real daily discipline but involves creativity and reaching out to others in a thoughtful way. It will be good for me -- both the creativity, which I so enjoy and do not spend enough time developing, AND the reaching out which I usually do on the spur of the moment. So this is a good all round discipline. May God be with me these forty days.
It was March of last year that I posted a crocus photo and then just stopped posting -- nothing, nada. And then I started in again at the beginning of this year with a posting every day. I really don't know why this happened. I don't know how long I will continue. As long as .....
These first spurts of color are still a promise from God. For me anyway. Today is Shrove Tuesday and tomorrow Ash Wednesday. I will not post Lenten stuff daily. If you guys want to read daily Lent blogs there are enough of them out there. Not for me. Not this year. I will just continue on in this same haphazard fashion posting what strikes me each day.
