THE HELPFULNESS OF PRAYER

 

 

 Yesterday my Bishops led a walk through Washington to witness against violence.  They walked and prayed the Way of the Cross.  The walk and the prayers may be found here.  My priest also offered the same walk through the neighborhood around our church in Norwalk.  I was unable to participate in either one of these walks.  I was, however, able to pray the prayers.  

 

The readings and the meditations and the prayers are quite moving.  I could not read them in one sitting and so chose to spread them out over the day.  Because of the references to Sandy Hook, I was deeply moved and they are quite personal.  I have saved them on my Desktop so I can revisit them in the days to come.  And to remind me of the JUSTICE attitude that I want to make a part of my being.

 

In the meantime we are embarking into the intensity of Holy Week.  Lois, our priest, passed along Praying the Hours which she found here.  I do not know how faithful I can be to these; I have downloaded them also.  I have them on my IPad which is easily accessible.  Sometimes prayers that have been put together by others enhance my own humble offerings to God.

 

All this and I began a dialogue with my SO this morning.  Nothing dramatic.  An opening of a conversation that can continue.  It is a start.  It took a great deal of courage on my part and I stumbled through my opening sentences trying to put some of my thoughts and feelings on the table.  Nothing dramatic.  At least a beginning.  I don't even know if I was really heard.  At least it is a start.  Nothing dramatic.  Low key.  Heartfelt.  A beginning. 

 

LIVING INTO THE ISSUES

In the midst of chaos and confusion, heartbreak and grief, self doubt and anger, I try to find peace.  Well, at least solace.  Yes, solace.  That's it.  Comfort.  Knitting helps.  Maybe it is the constant rhythmic motion that soothes me.  My hands are creating something with these needles and this yarn.  It is good.  Soothes the mind, calms the body, replenishes the soul.

A return to blogging after more than a year is both daunting and challenging. It is time.  It is time to return with these issues in my life as I struggle to understand and live with them.  To make sense of them.  To move on with them to the other side of them.

Gabriel, my lovable, six pound Shih Tzu, of some twelve years, is losing control of his rear legs.  He previously lost his left eye and his right eye does not see a whole lot and is treated with drops twice a day.  He is small.  He is precious. He is couragous.  We will care for him and give him all the comfort and support that we are able.  We will not let him be in pain.  This is a difficult path for me to live.  But live it I must.  Blogging will keep track of how we deal with this issue and what it does to alter our lives.

Secondly, the church that I have attended for the last twenty years is closing.  Grace Episcopal Church, Norwalk cannot continue for lack of parishioner participation in doing God's work and funds to maintain the physical plant.  I have been a very active member of this parish serving in many roles and this is breaking my heart.  I am in a greiving process.  I cry a lot.  Sometimes I am angry.  In less than two weeks those eligible to vote will vote to close or stay open.  Blogging sooner would have tracked what has led us to this point.  That is hindsight.  It just is.  As time goes on perhaps some of that will come forth as I look back from where we are.

Thirdly, relationship issues.  I will keep those quiet for now, perhaps journaling them as time goes on.  Bill and I have been together for thirteen years now and there are yet differences that can be resolved.  We have been in relationship therapy for four years and it continues  to help us to communicate and understand one another.

SOoo, three huge issues to handle all at once is difficult for me in this, my seventy fifth year.  I will live into them.  I will be changed. 

OLD WELCOMES NEW

Liana Rose Forbes Dominici

Born March 20th at 1:24pm. 6 lbs 6 oz, 18.5 inches long

ARTISTRY

This portrait was painted by my late Aunt Mary from a picture of me taken by my dad more than seventy years ago.

This afghan was recently created by my sister, Jacq.  Both works of art that I shall always cherish.  Both works of art from a mastery of color and design.  I feel very special to be the recipient of such special talents.

CRYSTAL CLEAR

 

 

This crystal was gifted to me by my friend Margaret many years ago.  It is a wee crystal just one and a half inches in diameter.  For many years it came out only with the Christmas ornaments but one year I realized that it could be a daily addition in my life and so I hung it in the window.  I face this window every morning during breakfast at the dining room table.  Sometimes I see it, sometimes I don't.  That is the way of things that are always present.

The crystal makes its presence known many times during the day as the sun hits its many facets and beams of refracted light are sent round the floors and walls in all the prismatic colors.  A reminder of life, and hope, and friends.  And that is the way of some things -- a sparkle and a brilliance are always noticed.  But there are so many things that surround me that do not sparkle and are not brilliant.  They deserve as much notice, of course, and more often than not, NEED my notice and attention.  Who and what are the invisible in our lives that need our attention?  What will we do to bring some light where now there is none?

 

HIS AND HERS

 

Just to put a little perspective on the scene -- This is our Dining Room table.  Her side is on the right.  His side is on the left.  Some days it is difficult to tell one side from the other.  Some days the clutter overlaps.  Today I just got tired of the whole big mess thing.  I know it doesn't accomplish anything to suggest a clean-up day so I decided to clean up my own mess and gently shove 'his' center overlaps to his side.  Maybe I can make a statement.  Maybe not.  I don't care.  I can only do for myself.

There is a LOT more to this than two sides of a table.......

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JEFFRI

Fifty-two years ago today.

Thank you for being in my life.