POST TRAVEL

Safe Home as the family informs one another upon their return from a trip. And I have even done the dreaded unpacking so that now I can actually enjoy the memories unencumbered. I took very few pictures. I seem to have to be in the mood for picture taking. Or have some plan in mind for their use. Lacked that motivation this time.

The Monet exhibit, Drawings and Pastels, was a good fill in for other Monet exhibits I have seen. And the display of many of his sketchbook pages gave me new insights for Moleskin usage. In fact later that same day in a Borders outlet I came upon the Moleskine sketchbooks for $2.99. Grabbed some of those suckers.

From Monet at the Clark Institute we went down to the Norman Rockwell Museum. Much different than when the museum was down the street from the Red Lion Inn. This museum is quite put together, paintings nicely spaced, audio clear and interesting. I remember as a young, young girl going to my grandmother's house and sorting through the stacks and stacks of Saturday Evening Posts looking for Colonel Stoopnagle's. And, yes, we appreciated the covers too. Rockwell was a genius at catching the meaningful moment of life.

Gabriel survived the night at the Animal Inn. In fact we were told that he was a quiet and enjoyable guest. I may take him there again on another trip.

And discussion on the way home was enlightening and hopeful. Yes, we can change our attitudes and our behaviors and make better choices for ourselves to make all relationships better. Life is good.

LOST IN BERKSHIRE COUNTY

It was a simple miscommunication. Can't even say misunderstanding because I understood perfectly. Thought I did, anyway: I came out of the vet's and repeated the instructions to find the Animal Inn. Bill pointed to a spot on the tourist map and said, "Oh, there." I made note of that spot.

That was yesterday when we were searching for a place to board Gabriel for the day. Today, I located the "there" on the tourist map and co-piloted toward that point. It was not long before we were both thinking that we had never been over this route before. BUT "there" was still further. And on we went. After a l o n g a time we both admitted that we were not where we wanted to be.

Turn around? Find another place for Gabriel? I didn't have his papers with me so that necessitated going back. But to where? Finally, it occurred to Bill to have me call information on my cell and get directions. We were miles out of the way. An hour, at least. But we did get Gabriel to the Animal Inn, two hours later than planned, and made arrangements to have him stay overnight so that we could finish the day without time constraints.

Back to the miscommunication: The "there" was a Walmart on the tourist map. The only Walmart on this map was not the Walmart landmark that was on the way to Animal Inn. This was a new Walmart that hadn't made it to the tourist map yet.

Neither of us was right, neither wrong. Just miscommunication. We were both able to apologize and move on. Sometimes relationships work.

VACATION REFLECTIONS

I'm still trying to decide if it is really worth leaving home. But maybe. The pace is slower. There are no time limitations. A wrong turn is a wrong turn not a catastrophe. There is time to relax and not "have to" be or do. I like that. I could get used to the drifting along in time just picking up and doing what catches my fancy and being whatever I feel like being.

This is what time outs are for. To rediscover what it feels like to drift in time. To not have to make decisions in a time frame. To not even have a time frame. I guess I should do this a little more often.

While away we received pictured of my young gand nieces on their first day of school. They look so precious I wanted to share them with the world. And I almost did. Then I thought better of it. There are a lot of bad people out there and I just didn't want to take the chance of exposing these two darlings to any of it. Isn't that a sad comment on life as we live it today.

On a brighter note we found a place to board Gabriel while we see the Monet exhibit tomorrow. It is so wonderful to find helpful people who are willing to go out of their way to accomodate a request. This is a joyful comment on life as we live it today.

We toured the back roads of Berkshire County for most of the day. It is very similar to our part of Connecticut with the addition of the background of the mountains. It is relaxing and actually soothing. I found that when we stopped at the Shaker Museum, I really did not want to trample the way through the dust and in the sun so we opted for the gift shop and went on our way to tour the back roads some more.

PRE TRAVEL

Travel requires planning. What to take. More importantly what not to take. I always forget something important but have too much that is unnecessary. Books. More books that I can possibly read. Not enough tops. Another time not enough bottoms. Always plenty of books, though.

Art supplies. Who knows what fancy may strike. Color pencils? Drawing pads? What size? How many? Always too many, but better more than less in this instance. I'd rather do without deodorant. Well, maybe not.

Spare glasses. Spiral "pages" notebook, pens, ink. Color Prayer Moleskine and color gel pens. Computer. Can't manage without the computer. And that means cords and cables and the mouse. Stuff.

And then there is Gabriel. Dog food, bowls, comb, brushes, scissors, cotton balls, and now eye drops. This little eight and a half pound Shih Tzu requires a bag of his own plus his crate. But, can't leave home without him. And this time am taking his rabies certificate and immunization record, just in case I have to board him for a day.

Upon the return home we just have to unpack all this stuff and disperse it back to where it all belongs. Sometimes wonder if it is really worth leaving home.

GABRIEL PROBLEMS

Upset in the family today. Gabriel is our six year old Shih Tzu. He is eight and a half pounds of love, spirit, and joy. I have noticed the past few days that his left eye was blood shot. This morning the light caught it just right and the cornea looked cloudy. Panic, of course.

This afternoon at the vet's he was checked for glaucoma, cornea checked for ulcer, and then sent home with eye drops for irritation. By the time I got in from work the redness had already started to clear.

This is my second Shih Tzu and he has captivated my heart the same as the first. He is small and soft and lovable. Gabriel does, however, have a few quirks. Like chewing on Bill's hearing aids when he finds them on the night stand. That's the worst -- but I can't really blame Gabriel. We have responsibilities too. The only toys that he plays with are small, stuffed squeaky creatures -- no balls or hard ropes or Frisbees. He loves red peppers, tomatoes, bananas, and peaches, which he gets with his kibble. No canned food, no table scraps.

We give our hearts so freely because they ask so little.

RELATIONSHIP

"There was a fine line between love and hate, you hear that cliche all the time. But no one told you that the moment you crossed it would be the one you least expected. You'd fall in love and crack open a secret door to let your soul mate in. You just never expected such closeness, one day, to feel like an intrusion." -- from Jodi Picoult's The Tenth Circle.

These words jumped right off the page and hit me between the eyes. Smack! I feel like that sometimes. Not often, but sometimes. Why is that? Because I let someone in, gave too much of myself away, allowed the crossover into intrusion? Scary. And even more frightening is the fact that the other person doesn't know. Doesn't understand the change in attitude. The backing off. The silences.

Yes, I feel the intrusion. Sometimes. Maybe he feels the same thing. Hmmm... I wonder how we correct this. Or if we even need to. Maybe couples need some space. Sometimes. Maybe we also need to take a look at what and who we are to one another. What we hope for ourselves. What we hope for the other. Do couples have these conversations?

We are going away for a few days. Away from the routine of every day. Maybe we will look at some of these questions. Maybe there won't be answers but we can acknowledge the questions.

WAKE UP CALL

Yesterday I left Bill at the eyeglasses counter at Costco and went off meandering on my own. I completed the circuit, saw what I wanted to see, and returned to the eyeglasses counter. Bill was not there.

Knowing that he was probably looking for me, I stationed myself in the center of two main intersecting aisles. This always works because I frequently meander off not paying attention to which way he has gone and I need to be "found." And he did find me.

"I thought I saw you before," he said to me, "but I was pretty sure you didn't have on a red top." And, of course, I didn't. Don't have but one red top -- rarely worn. Red is not my color.

"Look," he said, "there she is down there." And he pointed down the way to the woman wearing a red top. She was about ten inches shorter than me, she looked a lot thinner than me, and I am fairly thin right now. She had short hair like me. She had white hair like me. She was a little stoop shouldered, NOT like me. And she was old.

......like me?

I was stunned. Do I really look that old? Guess so. Don't like it very much, but there it is. Barbara is getting old. Getting? Hmmmm. Maybe is. I am sixty nine. I think of eighty as being old -- not sixty nine. My aunt Mary is ninety nine and that is old. Somehow I just don't think of myself as being old. And, guess what? I'm going to continue to not think of myself as being old.