SPIRITUAL DROUGHT

It happens sometimes. The spirit just seems to not be there. For a great long period this time. I haven't written pages forever. No prayer before sleep. No thankful awakening prayer. No formal prayer at all. Not even Celtic prayers. No relevant spiritual reading. Not much of anything.

And I haven't fought to get it either. In the past I would delve into something I felt should be in place. Prayer beads. Palm cross. Daily Office. Morning pages. All those practices that I thought were supposed to make me a spiritual person. All plastic. Once in awhile I would fall into good prayer but it was not a lasting thing. Did the candle lighting thing. Made a quiet 'sacred' space. Nothing was lasting.

Today I was able to name it -- Spiritual Drought. And face it too. Here it is. Here I am. I seem to have been here for longer than I have been aware. It is not a very comfortable place to be. But here I am. And I have decided to not fight it this time. Just be in it. Allow myself to feel it and to lean back into the tension that is here.

Eventually there will be a spark that will ignite my inner core. I will nurture it. I will make it mine

CULMINATION SUNDAY

Just as Friday signals the week's end, I look upon Sunday as the culmination of the week. It is the beginning and the end. It is the pivotal time of being. Saturday is the time for replenishing my physical resources. Saturday is the ketchup (for you non-Bancroft people that is catch up) day of the week. Laundry, sleep in, mail, read, relax, run errands, anything, everything.

But Sunday. Sunday is the most special day of all. Sunday means church. Sunday means being with God in a corporate way as opposed to the solitudinous way of the week. Solitudinous -- it's a word, an adjective, I just looked it up in the dictionary and it means what I want it to mean. Sunday is the high point of my week. It carries me forth to the middle and carries me forward from the middle.

Church is the liturgy. Church is the people. Church is my corporate connection with God. Church is where Jesus welcomes me to table to share the blessed meal. Church is music -- today it was "I Walk In The Garden Alone." My mother was a Methodist. Her father was a Methodist minister, of sorts. She sang the old hymns. The Presbyterian Church where I sometimes did Sunday School also did these old hymns. The 'garden' is one of my favorite places to be with God and it was a special moment for me in today's service.

Sunday morning church is a 'high' for me. A beautiful, natural, God-given high that sends me forth into the Kingdom to do God's work. Do I always do it? Not always. Do I want to? Yes. Do I try to? Yes. Am I successful? Sometimes? Does it matter? Not at all. What matters is the caring and the effort.

WEEK END

It is Friday. The end of the week. I am weary. No energy. No spark of interest. Just a lackluster being sitting at the computer reading other people's blogs. I have always been drawn to human interest stories and there are certainly a myriad of them being blogged.

You will note on the side bar 'Blogs I Follow' that there is a variety in the blog topics. I usually check in on them daily and sometimes, moved by the Spirit, I will leave a comment. People offer so much of themselves. I am astounded at how open people can be with their thoughts and feelings. Some of the bloggers write anonymously, others quite publicly. I congratulate those who are able to write openly and share their lives with us. I applaud and delight in their accomplishments and am encouraged to get on with my own creativity.

And I cherish the writings of the anonymous writers who are struggling with personal life issues. These struggles reach my heart and enter into my prayers

As for me, I will blather on in my mundane way until one day I will stumble upon a natural thread that will lead me into some serious blogging.