When I got on the scales this morning I weighed one hundred and twenty eight pounds. One twenty is a good weight for me. One twenty five is a wee bit over the top. One twenty eight is beyond reason. I haven't been paying attention. I have been wallowing in circumstances that make me believe that God is present with me. Shocking. Humbling. More than a little scary.
Well, duh, God is ALWAYS present with each of us ALL the time. But I have been feeling a physical indication that God is with me -- now. I just don't know what to make of that. I am numb with unbelief and yet I believe. I don't want to put it into words because it might go away -- and how egotistic is that? OR it might be more. And so I ponder. I contemplate. I pace. I try to understand. And most of all I pray.
Perhaps this Presence of God that I am experiencing is an admonition to prayer. Worked, that's for sure. I find myself in prayer more and more times during the day. Sometimes conversation with God. Sometimes mental pictures. Many times just sensation. More often than not just 'being.'
But being with God cannot exclude being in the world -- at least not for now. And so I must learn to manage both/all. Gaining weight is both unhealthy and economically unwise as I have a simple wardrobe that fits one twenty to one twenty five. What was that lesson of being "in" the world and being "of" the world. Don't remember. But I do know for now that I need to acknowledge this Presence of God in the world in which I exist and must function on a daily basis.
Close my lips. Accept less food. Be prudent. But above all, give thanks for the presence of God.
1 day ago
