EASTER AFTER

 

I thought that this might be a 'let down' day.  You know, that feeling of depletion upon the culmination of a huge event.  Easter at Grace was marvelous is so many ways and every service pulled together in such fantastic coordination.  Two baptisms at the Easter service and a grande luncheon afterward were just the right finishing touches.

And today -- sunshine and warmth and the first of the wild violets in the lawn.  So the 'after' of Easter is getting back into the routine but on the warmer side and into the growth of spring. 

Alleluia!

 

THE GREAT VIGIL OF EASTER

The splendour of the Easter Vigil and I don't even have a picture.  No picture would have done it justice anyway.  It was a festive occasion in our newly created space. 

 The dancing flames in the Narthex started off the celebration.  The Pascal Candle was carried in by our new Deacon as we each carried our newly lit candle..  The 'table' was placed central to all of us and was covered with blank paper.  As we told the stories we drew them onto the table with crayons and markers, added our names, and this  became the Fair Linen for our Eucharist. 

The waters for baptism were blessed and we renewed our Bptismal vows and then for the Peace we splashed one another with the water of baptism.   We each wrote our own prayers for Prayers of the People on colored shapes and placed them on the new  Fair Linen.

Eucharist Rite III -- WOW!

THE LORD IS RISEN, INDEED!!

WERE YOU THERE .....

 

Were you there when they crucified My Lord?  As I was leaving for the evening service I said that this is the traditional hymn for this service and that it always really gets to me.  Plus, given the blogs that I follow, I was just about Good Fridayed out, didn't know how much more of it I could handle.  I had read a kazillion different interpretations of the crucifixion -- and given that this is the year that we liturgically have John as the main gospel, made it all the more difficult.

Were you there when they nailed him to the tree?  I was the reader for Isaiah this evening.  A very prophetic writing from a very prophetic, well -- prophet.  The new space in our church allowed the word to resonate.  I love how God takes over when I read.  I hear the reading new and alive.  God speaking. 

Were you there when they pierced him in the side?  After the second reading we did the Passion.  Was it the same Passion that we did on Sunday?  Didn't seem the same.  I was hearing a LOT of different stuff.  And that's a good thing.  That is why we do these things over and over so that we can feel them at different times, in different ways and make them our own.

Were you there when they laid him in the tomb?  And this is the point of Good Friday, after all, isn't it?  Yes, Jesus is in the tomb.  And at the Vigil tomorrow evening all of creation will witness the glory of the resurrection.
 

SUBDUED

 

At the Maundy Thursday gathering this evening, people kept asking me what was wrong.  Well, nothing, I am just feeling subdued.  Maybe even pensive.  Not quite with the program.  Just a few more days until Easter and then I will be fine again.
 

THIS IS RELAXING???

 

Soooo, the rhythm is -- knit, two three, purl, two three, knit, two three, etc.  A nice easy rhythm.  Nothing complicated.  I can do this and think of other things.  I know that on each row I knit the knits and purl the purls, and I know how the stitch to be worked looks like. 

I am working on two pieces.  I work on one for a while, read for a bit, and then work on the other piece.  The underneath piece above is worked with that funny kinky yarn.  A knit stitch does not always look like a knit stitch, nor a purl a purl.  It gets confusing.  I have to rip back frequently.  This is NOT relaxing.

The other piece, however, is worked in just plain worsted type yarn, a little thicker than four ply worsted.  Smooth.  Easy to work .  THIS is relaxing.  I think I am going to put the kinky yarn piece  away until AFTER Easter.  A challenge will be okay then.  For now just knit, two three, purl, two three and do some reading.  Relax.  Ease into Easter calmly.
 

RELAXING INTO EASTER

 

I am trying really, really hard to be NOT busy.  This is not an easy thing for me.  So I am occupying my hands with knitting which seems to relax my thought processes a bit.  Just knit three, purl three, get into a rythm, relax.  My brain seems always to be on the run.  Not that my body is keeping up with that, but my mind does not relax.  So I am promising myself, this week, to NOT be brain busy.  To just relax.  Knit.  Read something light and frivolous.  No deep problem solving.  Let the world just go by and do its own thing. 

Knit three, purl three.  Relax.  Read.  Rest.  Prepare for the coming Easter.  Be ready.  Be waiting.  Knit three, purl three ....... 
 

PUTTING THE PAST TO REST

  

My sister, Jacq, has been able to get past that 'loose ends' feeling that a death sometimes leaves with us.  Our Aunt Mary died last June.  For me it has been that feeling of not saying the right things when I could.  Not being being the letter writer that would have kept us in touch with one another.  All that 'should' stuff.

For Jacq it is different.  She kept in touch.  She probably even said all the right things.  She still had that 'up in the air' feeling.  BUT, before Aunt Mary died she passed on to Jacq some of her creative materials -- fabric, ric rac, ribbon -- and a bunch of yarn.  After many months had passed Jacq decided to revisit a long unused skill and crochet that yarn into a shawl. 

The result as you can see is just beautiful.  And she has worked through her grief and has closure on the death.  And now I can publish this with the eulogy below that I started many months ago and could not complete.  I leave it in its incompleteness.  It's okay.  My grieving has come to an end through Jacq's project. 

Thank you, Jacq. 

Good Bye, Aunt Mary.

Mary Catherine Walters Bancroft

December 7, 1907 - June 30, 2010

Aunt Mary was my father's older sister.  The end of her generation.  Predeceased by her husband, two brothers, and her only son and daughter; survivor of breast cancer, and accomplished artist.  I choose to remember the "artist."  She is a role model for me in that genre.  Always experimenting with new media, 

MORE BLOSSOMS

 

It is amazing what a day of sunshine brings out in nature.  It is also amazing what I am seeing and appreciating this spring now that I am walking around with a camera.  This little bit above are the blossoms on the Japanese maple that resides in the back yard.  I don't even remember blossoms before.  Winged seeds, yes, but not the blossoms.  I am delerious with these spring happenings.  God is showing up in all the corners of creation.
 

APRIL SHOWERS, AND SHOWERS, AND SHOWERS

 

I know, I know, it's April.  But I also know that every April I get really, really tired of all the rain.  Almost to the point of being minimally depressed.  The gray and the dampness and the chill just make it too, too much.  I try to envision green grass and the buds of flowers and baby birds and all that stuff, but it sometimes just doesn't work. 

Looking at my world through these windows and hearing the constant pelt of the rain drops against the skylight gets to be annoying and then oppressive.  I become negative.  It is hard to plan.  My sleep pattern is off.  Energy lags. 

The really wonderful thing about April, and I have a hard time remembering this, is that May follows.  May is the most beautiful time in Connecticut.  I must remind myself to enjoy all of the happenings in April for what they are and what they give to us.  Each day is a blessing.  April days.  May days.  All of our days.
 

CURIOUSER AND CURIOUSER

 

The resident landscaper added this bit into the scheme of things today.  It must be two flower beds.  I let it be known at the outset of this idea that I was NOT going to plant, water, weed, or in anyway care for anything new in the yard.  I have my hands full with the impatiens in the two front beds and the one back bed.  If this was supposed to be for flowers someone else was going to be responsible.  The resident landscaper.  Bill.

And so the beds were put in anyway.   So there you have it.  It will be interesting to watch the development of what happens.  Whatever.  Not my problem.
 

LEAFING LILAC

 

It is seven in the evening.  The sun has not yet set.  The moon is already high.  Here he is seen through the lilacs that are starting to leaf.  So much spring.  Today was a warm sunny day, sandwiched between periods of grayness and rain, so there ought to be more sprouts visible this weekend.

I worked this afternoon.  This morning there was an odd rant from a friend on Facebook, to which I replied in a smart ass kind of way -- who put a bug up you ___ -- I wrote.  I know this person pretty well.  Love her kids.  Am on 'kissing' terms with her husband.  AND then she really took off on me.  Didn't quite get that.  Maybe she was having a bad day and I just got in the way.  Maybe she took my comment as a criticism -- it wasn't.  Maybe she doesn't like me.

There were several responses I might have made.  The first one that came to mind was to call her.  I was at work and didn't have her number, so that was out.  The next thing was to UNfriend her -- how immature.  And what would that solve anyway?  Took me a very long time to get past the UNfriending option.  And then I decided that I would just eliminate my reply and let her nasty response just hang out there.  Let her make whatever next move she needed to make.

Facebook is a wonderful social media.  I love it because I can be in contact with my grandkids and Bill's grandkids and my nieces, all of whom I love.  I have made some wonderful connections.  Sometimes I even 'chat' with my son, Jeff.  Yes, Facebook does have an important role for us.

On the other hand, words are dangerous.  If they are misconstrued, misunderstood, misheard, misanything, it is a disaster.  We need to be aware that people respond from the emotion from which they are at the moment.  They might not be in the same place that we are when we place a message.  Walk softly.  Don't be rash.  Let things slide.  And watch the moon as seen between the leafing branches of the lilacs.  This, after all, is where God resides.

A FAITH WORTH QUESTIONING

 We have just finished the fifth of our Lenten series "The Last Week of Jesus" or whatever it was called.  Could have been called "The Walk to The Cross."  But, no, we did resurrection also.  Do we call this part of the 'life' of Jesus?  I guess we do if we're true Christians.  Then I ask myself, what is a true Christian?  Don't know.

We were faced with a LOT of historical 'stuff' that surrounds Jesus.  And then a lot of religious 'stuff,'  and then again a lot of 'iffy' stuff.  Was Jesus killed for political reasons or religious reasons?  Who was ultimately responsible for the death decision?   Then AFTER the death????

I have taken all this in and mixed it up with what I have already learned.  Stirred it around.  Some of it conflicts, some of it confirms, some of it is new.  Don't quite know how to put it all together.  Maybe I don't even have to.  In the end does any of it matter?  Right now I don't even know that.

Will I continue in my current faith practices?  Yes.  Will I change my mind about anything?  That's possible -- if it fits for me.  Notice that I say, 'for me.'  I can't take in what is important to a lot of other people.  In the end, it is between me and God and God will let me know.
 

RAIN, RAIN, AND RAIN

I'm going to have to think of something really cheerful tomorrow to chase away this dismal feeling that the rains have brought upon me.  Then again, it is supposed to be sunny.  Now THAT would be a plus.  I can get the rest of my brugmansia plants out and get the sticky icky from the buggies cleaned up.  Maybe sweep the deck and wipe off the chairs.   Yep, tomorrow just has to be a brighter day.
 

AHA -- CLEMATIS

 

Here they come!  The first tiny green leaves of the clematis.  I am SO excited.  Last year they were hidden from the sun and from me by the over growth of bamboo.  The bamboo is gone.  Now to watch these wonderful new leaf sprouts and watch as the beautiful lavender flowers appear.  I think they are lavender.  Maybe they are blue.  Sometimes you have to remove what has been so what was hidden can come forth again on its own. 

The bamboo served its purpose.  It filled a gaping spot.  Now we can have clematis.  The transplanted royal hosta can flourish.  Maybe even the astilbe will come forth again.  Things change.  Life goes on.
 

SANDWICHED

I am somehow feeling very compressed by my 'sandwich' days. Not opressed. Just squished -- drained, used up, strung out, no cope, no reserve, no energy, no interest, in fact, no nothing. So I plan to turn in early and hope to regain some strength and perspective.

Tomorrow seven a.m. teeth cleaning and nine thirty taxes. That should get me back into the realm.
 

NEW RESIDENT

 

During the past year or so Bill has been building birdhouses.  He just likes putting things together and playing with color.  This is the one that he hung on the front maple tree last week.  And THIS is the new resident. 

He/she (I am NOT a birder) was busily bringing in twigs this morning.  Who woulda thunk ....
 

REPRESENTING WHO????

 

They are not being donkeys.  They are not being elephants.  They are being smug, stupid pigs.  They are wallowing in their own mud.  They are DUMB, DUMB, DUMB.  Our government at NOT working.  It is an embarrassment.  And what is the point? 
 

EWWWE BUGGIES

 

My brugmansia plants have been in all winter.  I have three in the guest room downstairs, one in the sitting room downstairs, and eight or ten upstairs.  Suddenly the upstairs brugmansia are covered with these teeny, weeny, little yukky buggies.  I have had them before.  They are late coming this year.  I am tempted to just put all these plants outside and let them fend for themselves with the coming temperatures.  They are such icky bugs.  They leave some sort of sticky residue on everything underneath where they infest.  Yuk. Yuk. Yuk.

No icky buggies on the downstairs plants -- this year anyway.  In fact, one of the guest room plants has three flower pods.  Three.  Count them.  THREE.  In past years, the guest room plants have been the ones infested with icky bugs -- ALL winter.  There is no rhyme or reason.  No pattern.  It just seems hit or miss. 

One of life's little mysteries.

 

PILATE

 
The video and discussion this evening focused on Pilate. Obvious and necessary overlap from last Wednesday's Trial of Jesus and next week's crucifixion. But tonight we focused on Pilate. My personal conclusion is that he was a political figure concerned with one thing -- Pilate and Pilate's career.

Jesus was one among many crucifixions during Pilate's reign and this one among the many was of no account to him. He was just doing his job. Period. An insignificant player. The gospeliers developed him into a sympathetic character and the Jewish leaders became the collective scapegoat. And just look what that has done to us as Christians. Shameful. Sinful.
 

REPLAY

 

A large part of spring is, actually, 'come back' time.  There is not a whole lot that is new here.  It is a re-emergence of last year.  The surprise is always just how the REemergence arrives.  This Easter hyacinth from last year is pale in comparison to what it was.  But then, it was a greenhouse gift then, and now it has been out in nature for a year.  I am happy that it has 'come back' at all.  I am happy for the color that it is.  I am happy for the green of its leaves.  When the flowers have spent, I will add in some fertilizer to the soil and look forward to the re-emergence next spring.
 

 

The maple tree out front is loaded with flowers.  Tons and tons.  Paving the way for seeds then leafs.  I am lucky to have this tree.  When we moved here forty three years ago, it was the biggest tree in the neighborhood.  It has since been out grown by the oak tree out back and a fir tree across the street.  But it's still big.  And I love it .

There will be thunderstorms tomorrow and the flowers may all be pounded to the ground -- and, of course, the porch where they will leave their seasonal staining.  And be a mess that eventually has to swept up and mulched.  But come summer this wonderful maple shades the southern facing front of the house from the heat of the sun.  I love this tree.
 

GRILLIN' OR BURNIN'?

 

Hmmmm....  Is this grilled?  Scorched a little?  Charred?  Doesn't matter.  It is finally warm enough to really enjoy cooking out and we will now be cooking out LOTS.  These are sweet pots.  Next onto the grill will be pork steaks.  A Sunday feast.  Welcome to the season.
 

A LITTLE BIT OF BLUE

 

And after all that rain and sadness of bit of blue when we got home this afternoon.  It was good to see that little bit of blue showing out from behind the clouds.  An assurance that the grieving and gloom will dissipate.  The sadness of of death will one day just be a part of life and not an overwhelming cloud.  A promise of tomorrow.
 

IT'S FRIDAY

 

No snow -- yet.  but it is early on.  THAT would really be an April Fool.  People here in Connecticut were complaining about this coming snow.  They've had enough.  Not so for me.  I truly love the snow.  Not the cold for long, but definitely the beauty of the snow.

It is, however, wet.  I am hoping the weather is better in Pennsylvania for my granddaughter's Birthday Breakfast.  She has so been looking forward to that.  I would have liked to have been there but it is a young people's thing and I am many miles away.  I would have liked to have sent her a Birthday Card and a special note but I don't have her address.  She called me a few evenings ago and we chatted a bit.  That was nice.  Her father calls me frequently and keeps me caught up on family news.

The week has been clouded with an upcoming funeral scheduled for tomorrow.  An unfortunate loss from an accident on I 95 last Sunday morning.  A loved and gifted man, killed too soon for those left behind.  He was so kind and gentle and loving.  Farewell, Richard Casey.  Rest in peace.