THE NEW NORMAL

Six years ago when my Shih Tzu puppy, Gabriel, arrived from Las Vegas in the puppy delivery van, I told Bill, "Our life is going to change." And so it did. Just like bringing home a new baby, a puppy adds joy and stress, diversion and love. Lots of love. And our lives have never been the same. We progressed into a "new normal."

Nothing remains static, there are constant changes, shifts in priorities, changes of perspective, but normal usually reigns through these. Sometimes, in fact many times, we choose the factors that turn our lives upside down and cause us to progress/digress into the new normal. Like Gabriel. Or relocating to a different part of the country -- a new normal. Conscious decisions but changed lives.

But every so often the status quo is challenged by influences not of our own choosing. Bill is terminated from his bus driving job. It hits in the pit of the stomach, driving out all self worth and confidence in capability. Even if it is the three accident rule and the accident wasn't his fault, it is still NO JOB. The rhythm of life is turned upside down. Arising times become irregular. Meal times are hit or miss. The lights burn later at night. Tempers are short. We don't know how to deal with this unexpected happening. We each put up a wall of protection against this unknown.

But we cope. We walk softly around one another as we grieve for our past lives -- collectively and individually. We don't really know how to address one another or respond. But we cope. We keep trying. We keep being sorry. We struggle onward, day by day. We begin to talk. We begin to open up to our struggles and share our concerns.

A new arising time is vaguely established. We return to more definite meal times. We are kinder to one another. We come out of our own grief and misery to commiserate, forgive some more, offer encouragement and support. Hugs. Laughter. Understanding.

A new normal is coming into being.