WERE YOU THERE .....

 

Were you there when they crucified My Lord?  As I was leaving for the evening service I said that this is the traditional hymn for this service and that it always really gets to me.  Plus, given the blogs that I follow, I was just about Good Fridayed out, didn't know how much more of it I could handle.  I had read a kazillion different interpretations of the crucifixion -- and given that this is the year that we liturgically have John as the main gospel, made it all the more difficult.

Were you there when they nailed him to the tree?  I was the reader for Isaiah this evening.  A very prophetic writing from a very prophetic, well -- prophet.  The new space in our church allowed the word to resonate.  I love how God takes over when I read.  I hear the reading new and alive.  God speaking. 

Were you there when they pierced him in the side?  After the second reading we did the Passion.  Was it the same Passion that we did on Sunday?  Didn't seem the same.  I was hearing a LOT of different stuff.  And that's a good thing.  That is why we do these things over and over so that we can feel them at different times, in different ways and make them our own.

Were you there when they laid him in the tomb?  And this is the point of Good Friday, after all, isn't it?  Yes, Jesus is in the tomb.  And at the Vigil tomorrow evening all of creation will witness the glory of the resurrection.
 

SUBDUED

 

At the Maundy Thursday gathering this evening, people kept asking me what was wrong.  Well, nothing, I am just feeling subdued.  Maybe even pensive.  Not quite with the program.  Just a few more days until Easter and then I will be fine again.
 

THIS IS RELAXING???

 

Soooo, the rhythm is -- knit, two three, purl, two three, knit, two three, etc.  A nice easy rhythm.  Nothing complicated.  I can do this and think of other things.  I know that on each row I knit the knits and purl the purls, and I know how the stitch to be worked looks like. 

I am working on two pieces.  I work on one for a while, read for a bit, and then work on the other piece.  The underneath piece above is worked with that funny kinky yarn.  A knit stitch does not always look like a knit stitch, nor a purl a purl.  It gets confusing.  I have to rip back frequently.  This is NOT relaxing.

The other piece, however, is worked in just plain worsted type yarn, a little thicker than four ply worsted.  Smooth.  Easy to work .  THIS is relaxing.  I think I am going to put the kinky yarn piece  away until AFTER Easter.  A challenge will be okay then.  For now just knit, two three, purl, two three and do some reading.  Relax.  Ease into Easter calmly.
 

RELAXING INTO EASTER

 

I am trying really, really hard to be NOT busy.  This is not an easy thing for me.  So I am occupying my hands with knitting which seems to relax my thought processes a bit.  Just knit three, purl three, get into a rythm, relax.  My brain seems always to be on the run.  Not that my body is keeping up with that, but my mind does not relax.  So I am promising myself, this week, to NOT be brain busy.  To just relax.  Knit.  Read something light and frivolous.  No deep problem solving.  Let the world just go by and do its own thing. 

Knit three, purl three.  Relax.  Read.  Rest.  Prepare for the coming Easter.  Be ready.  Be waiting.  Knit three, purl three ....... 
 

PUTTING THE PAST TO REST

  

My sister, Jacq, has been able to get past that 'loose ends' feeling that a death sometimes leaves with us.  Our Aunt Mary died last June.  For me it has been that feeling of not saying the right things when I could.  Not being being the letter writer that would have kept us in touch with one another.  All that 'should' stuff.

For Jacq it is different.  She kept in touch.  She probably even said all the right things.  She still had that 'up in the air' feeling.  BUT, before Aunt Mary died she passed on to Jacq some of her creative materials -- fabric, ric rac, ribbon -- and a bunch of yarn.  After many months had passed Jacq decided to revisit a long unused skill and crochet that yarn into a shawl. 

The result as you can see is just beautiful.  And she has worked through her grief and has closure on the death.  And now I can publish this with the eulogy below that I started many months ago and could not complete.  I leave it in its incompleteness.  It's okay.  My grieving has come to an end through Jacq's project. 

Thank you, Jacq. 

Good Bye, Aunt Mary.

Mary Catherine Walters Bancroft

December 7, 1907 - June 30, 2010

Aunt Mary was my father's older sister.  The end of her generation.  Predeceased by her husband, two brothers, and her only son and daughter; survivor of breast cancer, and accomplished artist.  I choose to remember the "artist."  She is a role model for me in that genre.  Always experimenting with new media, 

MORE BLOSSOMS

 

It is amazing what a day of sunshine brings out in nature.  It is also amazing what I am seeing and appreciating this spring now that I am walking around with a camera.  This little bit above are the blossoms on the Japanese maple that resides in the back yard.  I don't even remember blossoms before.  Winged seeds, yes, but not the blossoms.  I am delerious with these spring happenings.  God is showing up in all the corners of creation.
 

APRIL SHOWERS, AND SHOWERS, AND SHOWERS

 

I know, I know, it's April.  But I also know that every April I get really, really tired of all the rain.  Almost to the point of being minimally depressed.  The gray and the dampness and the chill just make it too, too much.  I try to envision green grass and the buds of flowers and baby birds and all that stuff, but it sometimes just doesn't work. 

Looking at my world through these windows and hearing the constant pelt of the rain drops against the skylight gets to be annoying and then oppressive.  I become negative.  It is hard to plan.  My sleep pattern is off.  Energy lags. 

The really wonderful thing about April, and I have a hard time remembering this, is that May follows.  May is the most beautiful time in Connecticut.  I must remind myself to enjoy all of the happenings in April for what they are and what they give to us.  Each day is a blessing.  April days.  May days.  All of our days.