WATER AWARENESS

Some years ago we were instructed to NOT run the water while brushing our teeth. I can't remember how that message got to us or when. I remember it was a hard lesson for me to learn. I don't remember whether I had to teach it to my children or if they were already there. Time folds back on itself when you get to be seventy. Anyway, we learned to brush our teeth without the running of water; using just enough to rinse off the toothbrush and then to rinse and spit. We must have saved a lot of water this way.

Now I soap my hands and rinse in cold water. I don't take baths. Quick showers. Well, not too quick but I don't stand under the water in contemplation either. The dishwasher is crammed to the edges before I run it. We have even started to save the shower water that runs before the water gets warm. I save the water that rinses out the coffee pot. Bill is not quite so fanatic and I frequently find myself admonishing him for wasting my great-grand children's water. He has become a little more careful.

For Book Club some time back we read "The Road" by Cormack McCarthy. It was a heart wrenching depiction of a father and son struggling to survive after what must have been an atomic cataclysm. Water was full of char and had to be filtered through ash soaked rags. This book made such an impression that I carry the worrisome images with me daily. It has made me even more conscious of my water usage.

Over on Lois' blog she has written a really neat piece about witnessing the natural activity of a beautiful hawk in her back yard while she was making tea. Water is a consideration here, of course.

When we do Bible study we frequently use the "African Method" wherein the scripture is read the first time through aloud to us and we are asked what phrase jumps out for us, and the second time for a particular word that strikes us. The third time is for what God is calling us to do but that doesn't matter in this discussion. When I listen to someone read I see the words. Maybe some black and white pictures, fuzzy gray , really -- stills. But when I READ the words I see the pictures like live TV, color, action. When I read about Lois' tea making, the only thing I could SEE was water going down the drain. I had to go back and reread the whole piece in order to really capture the delight of the hawk and the plight of the sparrow.

TOO MUCH TO READ

The book we are reading for the Book Club is "Straight Man" by Richard Russo. The review we read before making this choice said that it was humorous. Not humorous. I am thirty pages in and have not cracked a smile. In fact I have felt much pain and pathos for his characters. Even embarrassment for them. But I will plow ahead. 361 more pages to go by March 17th when next we meet.

At the same time Lois, our priest, has asked us to read the Book of Genesis. I did that in EFM several years ago. At great length with much discussion and theological reflection. Two years ago in Year Two of the Daily Reading for The Episcopal Church, I read the prescribed Genesis stories. Now we are in Year Two again and I am reading the stories again -- and hearing very different things than before. I may blog more about that. Needless to say, I am NOT going to read the whole of Genesis again. I am feeling that it is better read in parts and taking the time to refelct upon the stories. At least for me.

Saul Haffner, who is leading our Lent series on Wisdom Literature of the Hebrew Bible, gave us a syllabus and sort of encouraged us to read ahead for the next session. The Book of Proverbs. I am using Peterson's "The Message" to at least read the selected readings and perhaps I can even get into it and read some more. We'll see.

AND over on Jeffri's blog, he has begun the readings that are leading up to the Lambeth Conference. Readings from the Gospel of John. Go on over there for links, the reading list, and Jeffri's commentary. I don't have time. I will just catch his commentary as he puts it up.

BIG PROBLEMS IN PUPPYLAND

My dog is seven years old, weighs in at eight and a half pounds, and because my 'boys' are grown and out of the house, Gabriel is my delight. He generally sleeps in the crook of my bent legs during the night. He prefers that I walk him but has come to tolerate Bill holding the leash -- if he is desparate enough. I always prepare his food unless I am away visiting my sister. He is MY dog and I love him beyond reason. When he lost sight in one eye I opted to have a false eye implanted so that he would look the same. In fact it is hard to tell that he doesn't see with the false eye. If you didn't know, you wouldn't know. He is such a good dog that I take him out on the property (1/5 acre) without a leash. He stays right with me and follows simple commands: this way, wait, in, no. And so we have a relaxed walk around the yard.

Enter a big, bad dog. Next door. Next door with the neighbors that do not speak to us. Two days ago I had Gabriel out for a routine walk down the driveway and into the front yard. And then. AND THEN. Suddenly he turned and looked next door. And there in the driveway was a huge, HUGE, dark Lab. On a leash. But the human at the other end of the leash was struggling and being pulled forward. Gabriel is a friendly dog. He wants to play with everyone and so he charged right over to 'play.' The big, bad dog is straining at the leash, barking, snarling. Gabriel is right in front of him barking. Wagging his tail. Wanting to play. Fortunately, I was able to walk up behind Gabriel, scoop him up and take him into the house before the jaws of the lab closed over his tiny little head.

So now we walk him on his leash ALL the time. Even in the yard. Better safe than sorry. BUT, this afternoon when Bill took Gabriel out for a walk, the big, bad dog was pulling the next door teen ager on his sake board. Pell mell down the street and when the big bad dog saw Gabriel, he headed straight for him. The teen ager couldn't get off the board to stop the dog. Bill kneed the dog to fend him off, and finally the kid got off his board. A few choice words were exchanged. Harsh words from Bill. And the kid is laughing. Bill is furious.

I don't know how this is going to play out. It is really an awful situation.

LENT DAY ???

Well, I gave the ERD Lent Meditation a try and just couldn't do it. The scripture was so sparse that I couldn't get my teeth into it at all. Just a few lttle words hangng out there with no context at all whatsoever. And I just could NOT get past the pasty faced, middle class people in the illustration-cartoony things. Even brought down my gel pens and gave them blue kinky hair and orange skin and bushy eyebrows and heavy mustaches. Didn't help. Not one bit. And the ERD message was alright but not 'Lenty.' Whatever that means.

So I am forging ahead on my own. Still reading the Old Testament and the Gospel reading appointed for each day. Still trying to keep myself in prayer. Not spending money by going out for dinners or even ordering in -- although we never do the latter anyway. AND, I am keeping to my own personal Lent discipline. It is hard but it is making for a better relationship here. I promise to let y'all know how I fair come Easter.

Soup Suppers continue at church on Wednesday evenings and Saul Hoffman is going to be talking about Wisdom Literature for the next four Wednesdays. That should be really good. Last Lent he did the prophets of the Old Testament. Not ALL of them, just some of them. My contribution will be chicken noodle soup that I have been doing in stages since Sunday night.

And so Lent moves along. Not with as much religiosity as I had intended. But, hey, I'm still hanging in there with scripture and prayer and my own brand of fast and a new discipline. So I'm not doing too badly. I might even be doing well.

BURRS

....or something. Gabriel came up on my lap tonight after dinner, as usual. Settled in for some loving and companionship. And then I discovered burrs, or something, on his chest. I stood him up and tried to work them out to no avail so took him into the grooming table -- my vanity in the bathroom. Now Gabriel HATES grooming. Tolerates it because he knows he will get a treat. But this time not squiriming or nipping. He stood calm and quiet while I worked the pesky things our of his hair. They really must have been bothering him he stood so still and quitely. Patiently and tolerantly, actually. It didn't take too long and so I did the hair around his eyes too.

And when I finished, I just picked him up and carried him back to the chair where we had been and he settled right down on my lap. No treat. Those pesky things must have really been a bother. Strange how we can tolerate the intolerable when it is necessary to remedy an uncomfortable situation. Sort of like undergoing knee surgery to eliminate the pain . Suffering pain to get rid of pain. I could probably relate this to a lot of other stuff but I'm too tired.

JOSEPH THE JERK

Now that we are past the First Sunday in Lent, we are back to the Genesis readings. The story of Joseph being the current thread. Joseph is in the pit -- Genesis 37:12-24. Alone. Stripped of his beautiful coat. What did he expect? Dreams sometimes need to be remain undisclosed. But, oh, no, not Joseph. In his first dream he and his brothers are binding sheaves; his stands upright, the others bow in homage. In the second dream, the sun and the moon and stars are bowing to him. Stupidly he relates both dreams to the brothers who already hate. Stupid kid. Really! Not a good plan. His brother, Reuben, however saves him from death by putting forth the idea of the pit, thinking that he will come back and save him. But the pit has no water and the outlook is not good.

This whole Joseph story is strange. He is the favorite of his father. His father makes no bones about that at all. And then the 'long robe with sleeves' is given to him by his father. A coveted gift no doubt. No wonder the brothers hate him. Then the flaunting of the dreams. These stories are always difficult for me when there seem to be obviously bad choices being made by ALL of the players. Perhaps that is the point. Scripture frequently points out to us that there are frequently choices to be made. Not always, but many times. Maybe the point is that there are consequences.

LENT - DAY 6

I won't bore you with three, four and five or wherever we are. Suffice it to say that the ERD 'Seeking to Serve' is not sitting well with me. The all too brief scripture is not enough to sink my teeth into, not enough to mull, not enough to rile, just plain NOT ENOUGH. The illustrations are from white middle class America. Now really, does the white middle class America still exist? Not here, not in my part of the country. Not any more. So what could these people have been thinking?

I have taken my gel pens down to the dining room so that I can jazz up and give some color to the daily illustrations -- maybe give those white faces some ethnic character. I still read the dissertation aloud to Bill but they are not challenging or energizing enough for any conversation. I am truly disappointed. I shall keep at it for a few more days.

We have not gone out to eat. That is still ongoing. And I am doing pretty well with my own personal behavioral discipline. It may even turn into a permanent behavior. This is a boring Lent. I do not feel prayerful or -- can't remember what the admonition is -- better get out the Prayer Book and see if I can get into a groove of some kind or another. AND having Valentine's Day come in right here is not at all helpful. Really!

MILLINNIUM DEVELOPMENT GOALS

Lent - Day 3
IMing with Jeffri last night about this and that and touched on Lent and that led into a discussion about the Millinnium Development Goals (MDGs). Yes, these came out of the United Nations and were adopted by the TEC at General Convention in 2006. Jeffri pointed out to me that these are NOT domestic goals but goals set by the United Nations for third world countries. I was so bummed out with this information that I wonder how many other receivers of the Seeking to Serve booklet have no real idea that this Lent study is all about the third world countries of the world.

The day two scripture was: These words which I command you today shall be on your heart. Deuteronomny 6:6. Meaningless pulled out of context. But a context was provided both in the daily illustration and the paragraph below it: Memorize the eight MDGs. Interesting how scripture is pulled and used -- but that's a whole 'nother issue for me.

Bill and I are reading these together. Or rather I am reading and he is listening. So when he left the breakfast table he went to his computer and made business size copies of the MDGs so that I could take them and hand them out to Vestry at tomorrow's retreat. I am still out to lunch on the necessity of memorizing these things. But I took his nicely prepared miniature list and made it huge -- two sets to a page and printed them on card stock so I can put one in each bathroom and in each of our cars. Maybe that way they will get memorized. And the point is? I didn't get there yet. It may take some time. I'm struggling here, people.

Conversation during dinner preparation that evening (Day 2 of Lent) was about whether we were going to go out for supper the next evening. We usually do on Fridays. A couple of beers and a shared burger and salad. I said, 'What if we don't go out during Lent?' 'And save the money and give it to somebody,' replied Bill. Well, yes, but who. We immediately thought of the local food pantry or soup kitchen. I thought of Episcopal Relief and Development. Bill is reluctant to give to big organizations because we don't know who's getting or taking what.

And today I was thinking that the money that is being spent on the current campaigns could feed an awfully lot of hungry people, inoculate a lot of children, provide goats and pigs for numerous families to start farming projects. And the war? Don't get me started on the money there, let along the lives lost.

Day 3 scripture: Each one must do as he has made up his mind, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. II Corinthians 9:7 Sounds like a great stewardship admonition. The teaching is a good one. Underneath the illustration of an out of balance scale -- the down side being our wordly possessions and spending habits, the light side a big question mark -- the discussion is worth noting. Keeping a balance of spending in our lives. While enjoying our pleasures remember to share a portion of our bounty with others. And we don't always do that. Not in any kind of proportion anyway. So something to think on anyway. The study isn't a total loss -- yet.

ASH WEDNESDAY

All this hype about 'fasting' and I have been ravenous all the day long. Not that I ate, but I sure was feeling hungry much of the day. But when I read Episcopal Cafe's Fasting 101 and 102, I discovered meanings about fasting that I didn't even know about. And when this evening's sermon repeated the eating half as much for two meals and then a substantial but not overly abundant third meal -- say a hearty soup and some crusty bread -- I heard, but with the same despair as I had previously read. No way. It has taken me two years to establish an eating habit that maintains a healthy weight. I certainly do not want to mess that up. So food fast is just out for me.

There are other Lent disciplines, of course. I did do the Seeking to Serve reading this morning. Is not this the fast I choose... Is it not to share your bread with the hungry and bring the homeless poor into your house... Isaiah 58:6-7 I have been mulling that over today without it having influenced me. The day's 'illustration' is not great. But the discussion below it was a little more helpful -- hinting that praying that the Holy Spirit might help me to address the needs of the poor in some way. The whole thing can be down loaded on the Episcopal R&D site. I did that yesterday thinking I might copy some of it here but I don't know what the copyright issues are. I'm checking into that.

So, Lent no longer looms. It is here. We are "in" Lent. I have established a discipline for myself. It is going to be very hard to manage. It is personal. It is between me and God. Already messed up twice today but I am looking at it as ONLY twice. I will report in now and then how it is going and mayhaps at Easter I will be able to relate success. I can try.

SHROVE TUESDAY

A saying happened through my brain this morning: 'if you come to a fork in the road, take it.' I remember hearing this a while back and it didn't penetrate my thinking at all. Today, however, there it was back again and begging for consideration. As I mulled it over, actually picturing the fork in the road, I thought how asanine it is, especially if it is a true fork heading off equally from the main path. So what other choice is there but to take it. Right or left. Right or wrong. But can it ever be wrong? If the path leads to nowhere can't we turn around and take the other path. Does this have to be a black or white, written in stone, decision? I don't think so. We have choices. Over and over and over again.

Today's choice is coming up on my Lent discipline. Well, I did decide that I would do the Lenten Devotional Guide: "Seeking to Serve, A Lenten Exploration of the Millennium Development Goals" put out by Episcopal Relief and Development. It will be at the breakfast table to share with Bill. Perhaps he won't want to share but I'll give it a shot. Something for us to consider together over the next forty days.

The booklet itself is small, five by seven. One page a day - two for Sundays. And that page is two thirds filled with a drawing, cartoonish style. First a line of scripture, then the drawing, then a paragraph of teaching or explanation or whathaveyou. I haven't read any of it yet so I am making an assumption about the paragraph. It seems like 'Lent for Dummies.' We'll see how it goes.

Bill is already into the Lent thing without even realizing it, having committed to cooking the pancakes for tonight's supper at church. We'll see how that goes too. He is not really a team type player, preferring to do his thing on his own. I have been trying to impress upon him that the more people involved, the better for the community. Bill doesn't get community. Sometimes I don't either.

It is gray and damp and dreary and Lent looms.

SNOW

It is snowing in Noroton Heights. Not a bliizzard, but not just a flurry either. Just steadily gently falling flakes, touching the ground and melting. Too warm for ice. It may be the last snow of the season -- or not. But I am enjoying the spectacle just beyond my computer screen. Big, fat, clean, white flakes. The gentle falling. Softly meandering down from sky to ground. There is something quite peaceful about it.

Shrove Tuesday tomorrow and then Ash Wednesday. And Christmas is still up at our house. I just managed to pack the creches away this morning. Putting baby Jesus to bed before the tortuous adult trip to the cross. And, honestly, I don't know just how much of the strory/stories I really believe. It depends on the day. Some things I can believe in because I am such a believer in the super natural. I don't know whether that is heretical thinking or not, but that's how it is with me.

Tomorrow I will get the rest of Christmas put away and do some serious thinking about Lent. I know that I am not going to 'give up' anything. But I am willing to try to establish something new in my life. Or a new discipline of something 'not' new. Don't know what that is yet. Developing my artwork? Establishing a writing time? Maybe something not even for or about me. Maybe a discipline of contacting others. Not phone calls. Can't do the phone thing. Cards though. I could easily send cards and that is something I am supposed to do anyway and just haven't been able to accomplish. I have spent too much time trying to make a card template, frustrating myself beyond belief, stifling any creativity or motivation. To end all that I got the Hallmark Card software and think I may have solved nine tenths of the procrastination. So maybe I can do that.

At least I have a vague plan.

WRITERS DIGEST

At the library this afternoon I stumbled upon a copy of Writers Digest. It was one of those 'jumped off the shelf into my hand' things. The jist of the article which caught my attention was to just write. Make a dedicated decision to write fifteen minutes a day or three days a week. Just DO it. Well, folks, I have been writing pretty much daily for a few years and nothing to speak of has happened.

Our book club has been reading Ray Bradbury and his writing discipline is pretty much that -- writing every day, taking off on a word or a phrase and 'walla' he ends up with a short story in no time at all. And that short story is then transformed later on into a novel. Hmmmm. That hasn't happened to me yet. I have been playing at writing for too many years. I have about given up on any novel idea. Well, not entirely. There are nigglings in the back of my mind. But how to get them out on paper/screen. Don't know.

The article went on to discuss outlines and index card chapter headings that can be carried around and fleshed out at any given moment. Maybe. Maybe not. Novels are stories. I have to decide what the story is that I want to tell. IS there a story I want to tell. Maybe not.

The article went on further to say that some were using blogs as novel starters. Not only starters but just blogging daily and then collecting the blogs into a book. Hmmmm. The blogs I read or write are not the makings of a novel. My dad was a writer. Not a great fiction writer. Unpublished but for two short stories. He made his living writing ad copy and technical copy. I guess he was good at that. He made a living for us anyway. He would have loved blogging. So maybe I'll just continue to write my pages and write my blog and if anything happens, it happens.

LENT LOOMS

It used to be that giving up chocolate for Lent was quite adequate. In fact I can remember that in my drinking days I one year actually gave up vodka for Lent. One Lent. Didn't work the next couple of years. I started out well enough, just didn't have the wherewithall to keep it. Those were NOT good times for me.

Now, though, there seem to be other options. They are called 'Lenten Disciplines.' Not necessarily giving up a vice but the taking on of some new thing that will enhance our character or somehow improve the self. Diet for the loss of extra weight maybe. Making it a habit to read the daily scripture reading. A prayer discipline. Elizabeth Kaeton offers an introspection on tears. Read it all, it is quite worth it. It will speak to some, not to others. As other blogs reveal their ideas I will pass them on.

In the meantime I contemplate my own 'discipline.' I already read the daily appointed scripture readings. I have given up vodka as a VERY bad personal vice. Smoking is a habit of the way distant past. I am NOT a chocoholic. I don't swear any more. I don't even spit in public. (that was a joke) I am back to exercise and have returned to writing my pages almost every day. Just keeping up with what I have put in place for myself is pretty daunting -- in fact not always possible. But I am willing to take on a Lenten something for forty days. What will it be?

MUSIC IN LITURGY

The World of Doorman-Priest is entering into a weekend of study on preaching and music in liturgy. I enjoy music with the liturgy. Good music. Unfortunately good music is not always available. I have been assailed with some very bad music in my church. Hymns that should have been flushed long ago. Hymns that are played in funeral dirge tempo. Spirituals that drone WORSE than a funeral dirge. And some just plain sloppy and inept organ playing.

Music needs to be an emotional experience. Something that reaches into my soul and pulls me closer to God. Music that enlivens and uplifts. Music of quality and integrity. This happens, of course, with gifted leaders and practice, practice, practice. And so I cannot be too critical here because I am do not participate in the music program. There are some very dedicated people and the music they are making of late is quite good. Given a choir of six, they have a wonderful spirit and a wonderful sound. I would like a whole lot more but I am grateful for what we have.

One Sunday a few years ago we welcomed a liturgical dancer. Just one. Doing a modern ballet routine to music on a CD. She had beautiful form and flow with the music as she danced up and down the main aisle of the church and up and around the altar. I just didn't quite understand it. It was beautiful. It just somehow seemed to be apart from the worship service. Maybe if we had had some kind of introduction and/or teaching first, I might have been more appreciative. If the music had seemed to be a part of us and not just for the performance of the dancer.

But then I remember even farther back than the liturgical dancer -- drums. Or drum, as in one. And a singer who could sing with the drum. The drum and the singer were one and they were part of the liturgy and there was rythm and there was dance. In fact in our staid congregation people were swinging their hips and clapping their hands and they were a part of the celebration of God.

Yes, music is good. We need more of it. Music that reaches our souls. Music that carries us up to God. Music that brings God into our souls.