BEATITUDES

Oh, no, I thought, NOT the Beatitues.  NOT gentle Jesus meek and mild, NOT poor in spirit not all that old stuff.  This is going to be boring and awful.  What happened to The Radical Jesus concept that was advertised for this soup and discussion series for Lent?

Pat Spoor wasn't going to let it happen though.  Not the the tired and true.  What do you want to get out of these discussions? she asked.  One reply was, I want to know the radical Jesus.  Another was interested in sharing the meaning and interpretation of scripture for TODAY'S life -- what is it meaning for us RIGHT NOW.  And yet another, a male person, was interested in hearing the feminine interpretation and meaning -- from the time of Jesus, and for now.  Interesting.  Each of us coming to the table with different expectations and desires and yet open to all.

We read The Beatitudes round the group, one verse at a time.  Then we spent quite a while discussing just what it meant to be "poor in spirit" and just what was "spirit" anyway.  The offerings were varied and heartfelt.  We went on to talk about the grieving of loss and what was comfort; and what it meant to be 'meek.'  Words, words, words and how they struck each one of us in a different way.

Then a homework assignment.  Assignments actually.  Watch the media.  Notice where the thoughts and meaning of the Beatitudes fit today's circumstances.  AND read on into Matthew -- through chapters ten or eleven -- and be aware of how the Beatitudes were the teachings and preaching of Jesus. 

Next soup supper at Grace Episcopal Church, Norwalk Tuesday, March 2 at 6:30 p.m. 

Do come!!

LENTEN FASTING

RevLois went over the fastings of Lent in her Ash Wednesday homily. Fasting is NOT abstinence, she insisted. Giving up chocolate just isn't fasting. Giving up cigarettes might be fasting. The real fasting she said, and I remember her saying this same thing LAST year, is to eat half the usual amounts for two meals of the day and then a simple third meal -- like bread and soup. The point being that the process of the giving up should be felt in the body as well as in the soul.

AND whilst cutting back on our intake we might spend that saved money to buy food for the food banks or feeding the hungry in some way -- locally, nationally, internationally. Or volunteer our time at any number of places.

At supper tonight Bill said to me, "What are we doing for Lent?" To which I replied, "What did you have in mind?" He answered, "We could buy some food and take it to the food bank." "Yes, we could, " I said, "And what will we be giving up in order to have the money to do that?"

He looked at me with this really got look on his face and said, "Give up?"

So much for the fastings of Lent. I'm not doing it. Not this year. Last year we actually gave up dinners out for all of Lent and donated that money to the Sierra Leone Project. It was well worth it. This year I am not inclined to do anything. I fell pretty well loaded up with my current efforts. I need to do some serious taking care of myself. Instead of adding more on to my life to keep track of and evaluate and judge and cause me agita. perhaps I will take stock of what I am already doing. Is it working? Is it worthwhile? REALLY worthwhile? And to whom?

Many things to think about this Lent.

ASHES/DUST, DUST/ASHES

Frankly, I am not happy about the dust thing. The story just doesn't hold water. If you go to Genesis 2:7 it says, "...then the Lord God formed man from the dust of the ground, ..." No WOman, just man.Then a few verses later God decides to form woman from one of the ribs of the man. This creation story just stinks. It puts woman in the position of being the possession of man aside from being an afterthought when all else had been created.

Better is the creation story in Genesis 1:27 which says, "So God created humankind in his image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them." Here it is separate and equal -- in the image of God. I eversomuch more like being God's image that dust.

And so into Lent we go.

THE SLOG IS OVER

Not to mean that Lent is over, but that we are now into Holy Week. The liturgy of Palm Sunday has been laid to rest for yet another year. The palms are still green and flexible and beautiful. The music still echoes in our minds. The Passion has been read -- Matthew this year. I was privileged to read the 'Evangelist' part. I love reading this part because it is the glue that holds it all together. The whole of the congregation participates. We live the story of the betrayal and the condemnation and the crucifixion. But it is only a 'taste' of the story. As the week goes on we will participate more fully in the events that lead to the cross.

And isn't it odd that when I was at the halfway mark of Lent, I thought it would never end. Now I am feeling as though it has sneaked up on me and I am ill prepared. Did I do all those things I wanted to do? Have I been prayerful? What about repentance, self-denial, fasting, reading, meditating? How am I measuring up? And who is doing the measuring anyway.

This is one of the lessons that I have to learn. NO ONE is watching me. NO ONE is keeping score. No one probably even cares. Whatever it is, whatever choices I make, it is between me and God. And it is for that relationship with God that I strive.

TOO MUCH TO READ

The book we are reading for the Book Club is "Straight Man" by Richard Russo. The review we read before making this choice said that it was humorous. Not humorous. I am thirty pages in and have not cracked a smile. In fact I have felt much pain and pathos for his characters. Even embarrassment for them. But I will plow ahead. 361 more pages to go by March 17th when next we meet.

At the same time Lois, our priest, has asked us to read the Book of Genesis. I did that in EFM several years ago. At great length with much discussion and theological reflection. Two years ago in Year Two of the Daily Reading for The Episcopal Church, I read the prescribed Genesis stories. Now we are in Year Two again and I am reading the stories again -- and hearing very different things than before. I may blog more about that. Needless to say, I am NOT going to read the whole of Genesis again. I am feeling that it is better read in parts and taking the time to refelct upon the stories. At least for me.

Saul Haffner, who is leading our Lent series on Wisdom Literature of the Hebrew Bible, gave us a syllabus and sort of encouraged us to read ahead for the next session. The Book of Proverbs. I am using Peterson's "The Message" to at least read the selected readings and perhaps I can even get into it and read some more. We'll see.

AND over on Jeffri's blog, he has begun the readings that are leading up to the Lambeth Conference. Readings from the Gospel of John. Go on over there for links, the reading list, and Jeffri's commentary. I don't have time. I will just catch his commentary as he puts it up.

LENT DAY ???

Well, I gave the ERD Lent Meditation a try and just couldn't do it. The scripture was so sparse that I couldn't get my teeth into it at all. Just a few lttle words hangng out there with no context at all whatsoever. And I just could NOT get past the pasty faced, middle class people in the illustration-cartoony things. Even brought down my gel pens and gave them blue kinky hair and orange skin and bushy eyebrows and heavy mustaches. Didn't help. Not one bit. And the ERD message was alright but not 'Lenty.' Whatever that means.

So I am forging ahead on my own. Still reading the Old Testament and the Gospel reading appointed for each day. Still trying to keep myself in prayer. Not spending money by going out for dinners or even ordering in -- although we never do the latter anyway. AND, I am keeping to my own personal Lent discipline. It is hard but it is making for a better relationship here. I promise to let y'all know how I fair come Easter.

Soup Suppers continue at church on Wednesday evenings and Saul Hoffman is going to be talking about Wisdom Literature for the next four Wednesdays. That should be really good. Last Lent he did the prophets of the Old Testament. Not ALL of them, just some of them. My contribution will be chicken noodle soup that I have been doing in stages since Sunday night.

And so Lent moves along. Not with as much religiosity as I had intended. But, hey, I'm still hanging in there with scripture and prayer and my own brand of fast and a new discipline. So I'm not doing too badly. I might even be doing well.

MILLINNIUM DEVELOPMENT GOALS

Lent - Day 3
IMing with Jeffri last night about this and that and touched on Lent and that led into a discussion about the Millinnium Development Goals (MDGs). Yes, these came out of the United Nations and were adopted by the TEC at General Convention in 2006. Jeffri pointed out to me that these are NOT domestic goals but goals set by the United Nations for third world countries. I was so bummed out with this information that I wonder how many other receivers of the Seeking to Serve booklet have no real idea that this Lent study is all about the third world countries of the world.

The day two scripture was: These words which I command you today shall be on your heart. Deuteronomny 6:6. Meaningless pulled out of context. But a context was provided both in the daily illustration and the paragraph below it: Memorize the eight MDGs. Interesting how scripture is pulled and used -- but that's a whole 'nother issue for me.

Bill and I are reading these together. Or rather I am reading and he is listening. So when he left the breakfast table he went to his computer and made business size copies of the MDGs so that I could take them and hand them out to Vestry at tomorrow's retreat. I am still out to lunch on the necessity of memorizing these things. But I took his nicely prepared miniature list and made it huge -- two sets to a page and printed them on card stock so I can put one in each bathroom and in each of our cars. Maybe that way they will get memorized. And the point is? I didn't get there yet. It may take some time. I'm struggling here, people.

Conversation during dinner preparation that evening (Day 2 of Lent) was about whether we were going to go out for supper the next evening. We usually do on Fridays. A couple of beers and a shared burger and salad. I said, 'What if we don't go out during Lent?' 'And save the money and give it to somebody,' replied Bill. Well, yes, but who. We immediately thought of the local food pantry or soup kitchen. I thought of Episcopal Relief and Development. Bill is reluctant to give to big organizations because we don't know who's getting or taking what.

And today I was thinking that the money that is being spent on the current campaigns could feed an awfully lot of hungry people, inoculate a lot of children, provide goats and pigs for numerous families to start farming projects. And the war? Don't get me started on the money there, let along the lives lost.

Day 3 scripture: Each one must do as he has made up his mind, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. II Corinthians 9:7 Sounds like a great stewardship admonition. The teaching is a good one. Underneath the illustration of an out of balance scale -- the down side being our wordly possessions and spending habits, the light side a big question mark -- the discussion is worth noting. Keeping a balance of spending in our lives. While enjoying our pleasures remember to share a portion of our bounty with others. And we don't always do that. Not in any kind of proportion anyway. So something to think on anyway. The study isn't a total loss -- yet.

SHROVE TUESDAY

A saying happened through my brain this morning: 'if you come to a fork in the road, take it.' I remember hearing this a while back and it didn't penetrate my thinking at all. Today, however, there it was back again and begging for consideration. As I mulled it over, actually picturing the fork in the road, I thought how asanine it is, especially if it is a true fork heading off equally from the main path. So what other choice is there but to take it. Right or left. Right or wrong. But can it ever be wrong? If the path leads to nowhere can't we turn around and take the other path. Does this have to be a black or white, written in stone, decision? I don't think so. We have choices. Over and over and over again.

Today's choice is coming up on my Lent discipline. Well, I did decide that I would do the Lenten Devotional Guide: "Seeking to Serve, A Lenten Exploration of the Millennium Development Goals" put out by Episcopal Relief and Development. It will be at the breakfast table to share with Bill. Perhaps he won't want to share but I'll give it a shot. Something for us to consider together over the next forty days.

The booklet itself is small, five by seven. One page a day - two for Sundays. And that page is two thirds filled with a drawing, cartoonish style. First a line of scripture, then the drawing, then a paragraph of teaching or explanation or whathaveyou. I haven't read any of it yet so I am making an assumption about the paragraph. It seems like 'Lent for Dummies.' We'll see how it goes.

Bill is already into the Lent thing without even realizing it, having committed to cooking the pancakes for tonight's supper at church. We'll see how that goes too. He is not really a team type player, preferring to do his thing on his own. I have been trying to impress upon him that the more people involved, the better for the community. Bill doesn't get community. Sometimes I don't either.

It is gray and damp and dreary and Lent looms.

SNOW

It is snowing in Noroton Heights. Not a bliizzard, but not just a flurry either. Just steadily gently falling flakes, touching the ground and melting. Too warm for ice. It may be the last snow of the season -- or not. But I am enjoying the spectacle just beyond my computer screen. Big, fat, clean, white flakes. The gentle falling. Softly meandering down from sky to ground. There is something quite peaceful about it.

Shrove Tuesday tomorrow and then Ash Wednesday. And Christmas is still up at our house. I just managed to pack the creches away this morning. Putting baby Jesus to bed before the tortuous adult trip to the cross. And, honestly, I don't know just how much of the strory/stories I really believe. It depends on the day. Some things I can believe in because I am such a believer in the super natural. I don't know whether that is heretical thinking or not, but that's how it is with me.

Tomorrow I will get the rest of Christmas put away and do some serious thinking about Lent. I know that I am not going to 'give up' anything. But I am willing to try to establish something new in my life. Or a new discipline of something 'not' new. Don't know what that is yet. Developing my artwork? Establishing a writing time? Maybe something not even for or about me. Maybe a discipline of contacting others. Not phone calls. Can't do the phone thing. Cards though. I could easily send cards and that is something I am supposed to do anyway and just haven't been able to accomplish. I have spent too much time trying to make a card template, frustrating myself beyond belief, stifling any creativity or motivation. To end all that I got the Hallmark Card software and think I may have solved nine tenths of the procrastination. So maybe I can do that.

At least I have a vague plan.