INDIANA RESPITE

My time here in Indiana with my sister, Jacq, is coming to an end.  We are both feeling a little sad.  It will be a year, or at least fifty weeks, until we are together again.  We keep in touch daily through e-mails and we chat on the phone every week or so.  The time actually being together is the best.  We talk and laugh, reminisce, share stories from the recent past that were too involved for e-mail or phone, lament some of the things that are currently happening, and generally just enjoy being with each other.

Distancing myself from the usual routine of my life has been a good thing.  No meetings, no time tables, no deadlines, no responisibilities, no pressure.  Time for knitting and reading and crossword puzzles.  A few days of this and I begin to relax.  Jacq and I cook family favorites and try out new recipes and, of course, keep up with the abundant garden produce.  And walk.  We have walked almost every day, on the picturesque walk along the Ohio River or through some of the residential neighborhoods of Madison. 

Oh, and in addition there's my new buddy, Kitty.  The family here calls her Peanut but she doesn't answer to that.  She answers to 'Kitty' and she greets me with a meow first thing every morning and hangs around where I am most of the day -- nosing into my face as I read, grabbing at my knitting yarns, nuzzling my fingers as I try to type on the computer keys.  I am NOT a cat person but Kitty has definitely warmed her way into my heart -- she crept up onto the foot of my bed last night and kept my feet warm.

Has the distance and time diminished my intense sense of involvement in home and family and church and work?  Not at all.  Have I gained some great sense of perspective or insight into the controversial issues?  Not at all.  Am I renewed? Yes.  Am I less anxious? Yes.  Am I ready to return and delve into the complexities of my life? Yes.  Sisters are the best!

REQUIEM FOR MY WANNA-BE ROBINS

 

Mrs. Robin sat on her beautiful, blue eggs all weekend as we came and went.  I said hello and good-bye each time.  She seemed facing a different way each time so I assume she was adjusting her warmth and rotating her eggs.  She watched me with her beady, little, suspicious, fearful eyes.  She was there when last I walk Gabriel Sunday evening.

This morning when I went out.  No Mrs. Robin.  No eggs.  Nest askew in the branches.  I am heartbroken.  My would-be grandchildren are no more for this season.  At least not from this laying.  Was it a squirrel?  A cat?  Some other nasty creature?

And, of course, I am feeling guilty because of the bush trimming that exposed her to begin with.  Sorry, Mrs. Robin.  Although there is no sorry that is enough for an unborn child.  It is a grief too deep even to be shared.  Sorry, Mrs. Robin.  Sorry.  Sorry.  Sorry.
 

CHALLENGES IN ROBINVILLE

 

Some kind of freak, fierce, forceful wind visited our domain whilst I was at work today.  Rubbish bins were scattered into the yard and the main, nest-sheltering top of the Japanese Holly bush was blown over ...

 .... leaving a gaping hole ....

... exposing the nest and gestating eggs of Mrs. Robin.

  

AND the maternal instinct of Mrs. Robin prevailed.  Thanks Be To God!



SNEAK PEAK

 

Mrs. Robin is very much in residence.  I see her beady little eye watching my every move as I go up and down the deck stairs.  And when I peek through the slats in the fencing I see her fluffed out over the whole nest.  And she just sits there and watches me.

She must have taken off for a while to grab something to eat so I got a quick peak over the top of the fence into her nest.  Three beautiful eggs.  I'm watching and waiting.
 

OOPS!!!

 

It was a perfect day in Connecticut.  For church, for yard work, for pruning of the overgrown Japanese Holly that resides next to our back steps.  As you can see I am only two thirds of the way finished because I ran into this: 

A VERY big oops.  It looks like kind of an old nest -- very weathered and grey, no new stuff in it.  Like maybe it has been there for a few seasons.  The three blue robin eggs inside, however, cannot be old.  I am feeling pretty awful.  Like having invaded someone's most intimate, personal space. 

I left off the pruning and went away from the nest out further into the yard to do other work.  I worked until tired and then retired to the deck for a beer and my book.  I was aware of birds NOT being around.  I sat there for a while recouping my energy and, finally, w a y  out back a robin started flitting around in and out amongst the branches.  Did not come anywhere near the deck, however.

We are inside now.  Perhaps they will feel a little more secure as time goes on.  Maybe not ...
 

EASTER AFTER

 

I thought that this might be a 'let down' day.  You know, that feeling of depletion upon the culmination of a huge event.  Easter at Grace was marvelous is so many ways and every service pulled together in such fantastic coordination.  Two baptisms at the Easter service and a grande luncheon afterward were just the right finishing touches.

And today -- sunshine and warmth and the first of the wild violets in the lawn.  So the 'after' of Easter is getting back into the routine but on the warmer side and into the growth of spring. 

Alleluia!

 

THE GREAT VIGIL OF EASTER

The splendour of the Easter Vigil and I don't even have a picture.  No picture would have done it justice anyway.  It was a festive occasion in our newly created space. 

 The dancing flames in the Narthex started off the celebration.  The Pascal Candle was carried in by our new Deacon as we each carried our newly lit candle..  The 'table' was placed central to all of us and was covered with blank paper.  As we told the stories we drew them onto the table with crayons and markers, added our names, and this  became the Fair Linen for our Eucharist. 

The waters for baptism were blessed and we renewed our Bptismal vows and then for the Peace we splashed one another with the water of baptism.   We each wrote our own prayers for Prayers of the People on colored shapes and placed them on the new  Fair Linen.

Eucharist Rite III -- WOW!

THE LORD IS RISEN, INDEED!!

WERE YOU THERE .....

 

Were you there when they crucified My Lord?  As I was leaving for the evening service I said that this is the traditional hymn for this service and that it always really gets to me.  Plus, given the blogs that I follow, I was just about Good Fridayed out, didn't know how much more of it I could handle.  I had read a kazillion different interpretations of the crucifixion -- and given that this is the year that we liturgically have John as the main gospel, made it all the more difficult.

Were you there when they nailed him to the tree?  I was the reader for Isaiah this evening.  A very prophetic writing from a very prophetic, well -- prophet.  The new space in our church allowed the word to resonate.  I love how God takes over when I read.  I hear the reading new and alive.  God speaking. 

Were you there when they pierced him in the side?  After the second reading we did the Passion.  Was it the same Passion that we did on Sunday?  Didn't seem the same.  I was hearing a LOT of different stuff.  And that's a good thing.  That is why we do these things over and over so that we can feel them at different times, in different ways and make them our own.

Were you there when they laid him in the tomb?  And this is the point of Good Friday, after all, isn't it?  Yes, Jesus is in the tomb.  And at the Vigil tomorrow evening all of creation will witness the glory of the resurrection.
 

SUBDUED

 

At the Maundy Thursday gathering this evening, people kept asking me what was wrong.  Well, nothing, I am just feeling subdued.  Maybe even pensive.  Not quite with the program.  Just a few more days until Easter and then I will be fine again.
 

THIS IS RELAXING???

 

Soooo, the rhythm is -- knit, two three, purl, two three, knit, two three, etc.  A nice easy rhythm.  Nothing complicated.  I can do this and think of other things.  I know that on each row I knit the knits and purl the purls, and I know how the stitch to be worked looks like. 

I am working on two pieces.  I work on one for a while, read for a bit, and then work on the other piece.  The underneath piece above is worked with that funny kinky yarn.  A knit stitch does not always look like a knit stitch, nor a purl a purl.  It gets confusing.  I have to rip back frequently.  This is NOT relaxing.

The other piece, however, is worked in just plain worsted type yarn, a little thicker than four ply worsted.  Smooth.  Easy to work .  THIS is relaxing.  I think I am going to put the kinky yarn piece  away until AFTER Easter.  A challenge will be okay then.  For now just knit, two three, purl, two three and do some reading.  Relax.  Ease into Easter calmly.
 

RELAXING INTO EASTER

 

I am trying really, really hard to be NOT busy.  This is not an easy thing for me.  So I am occupying my hands with knitting which seems to relax my thought processes a bit.  Just knit three, purl three, get into a rythm, relax.  My brain seems always to be on the run.  Not that my body is keeping up with that, but my mind does not relax.  So I am promising myself, this week, to NOT be brain busy.  To just relax.  Knit.  Read something light and frivolous.  No deep problem solving.  Let the world just go by and do its own thing. 

Knit three, purl three.  Relax.  Read.  Rest.  Prepare for the coming Easter.  Be ready.  Be waiting.  Knit three, purl three ....... 
 

PUTTING THE PAST TO REST

  

My sister, Jacq, has been able to get past that 'loose ends' feeling that a death sometimes leaves with us.  Our Aunt Mary died last June.  For me it has been that feeling of not saying the right things when I could.  Not being being the letter writer that would have kept us in touch with one another.  All that 'should' stuff.

For Jacq it is different.  She kept in touch.  She probably even said all the right things.  She still had that 'up in the air' feeling.  BUT, before Aunt Mary died she passed on to Jacq some of her creative materials -- fabric, ric rac, ribbon -- and a bunch of yarn.  After many months had passed Jacq decided to revisit a long unused skill and crochet that yarn into a shawl. 

The result as you can see is just beautiful.  And she has worked through her grief and has closure on the death.  And now I can publish this with the eulogy below that I started many months ago and could not complete.  I leave it in its incompleteness.  It's okay.  My grieving has come to an end through Jacq's project. 

Thank you, Jacq. 

Good Bye, Aunt Mary.

Mary Catherine Walters Bancroft

December 7, 1907 - June 30, 2010

Aunt Mary was my father's older sister.  The end of her generation.  Predeceased by her husband, two brothers, and her only son and daughter; survivor of breast cancer, and accomplished artist.  I choose to remember the "artist."  She is a role model for me in that genre.  Always experimenting with new media, 

MORE BLOSSOMS

 

It is amazing what a day of sunshine brings out in nature.  It is also amazing what I am seeing and appreciating this spring now that I am walking around with a camera.  This little bit above are the blossoms on the Japanese maple that resides in the back yard.  I don't even remember blossoms before.  Winged seeds, yes, but not the blossoms.  I am delerious with these spring happenings.  God is showing up in all the corners of creation.
 

APRIL SHOWERS, AND SHOWERS, AND SHOWERS

 

I know, I know, it's April.  But I also know that every April I get really, really tired of all the rain.  Almost to the point of being minimally depressed.  The gray and the dampness and the chill just make it too, too much.  I try to envision green grass and the buds of flowers and baby birds and all that stuff, but it sometimes just doesn't work. 

Looking at my world through these windows and hearing the constant pelt of the rain drops against the skylight gets to be annoying and then oppressive.  I become negative.  It is hard to plan.  My sleep pattern is off.  Energy lags. 

The really wonderful thing about April, and I have a hard time remembering this, is that May follows.  May is the most beautiful time in Connecticut.  I must remind myself to enjoy all of the happenings in April for what they are and what they give to us.  Each day is a blessing.  April days.  May days.  All of our days.
 

CURIOUSER AND CURIOUSER

 

The resident landscaper added this bit into the scheme of things today.  It must be two flower beds.  I let it be known at the outset of this idea that I was NOT going to plant, water, weed, or in anyway care for anything new in the yard.  I have my hands full with the impatiens in the two front beds and the one back bed.  If this was supposed to be for flowers someone else was going to be responsible.  The resident landscaper.  Bill.

And so the beds were put in anyway.   So there you have it.  It will be interesting to watch the development of what happens.  Whatever.  Not my problem.
 

LEAFING LILAC

 

It is seven in the evening.  The sun has not yet set.  The moon is already high.  Here he is seen through the lilacs that are starting to leaf.  So much spring.  Today was a warm sunny day, sandwiched between periods of grayness and rain, so there ought to be more sprouts visible this weekend.

I worked this afternoon.  This morning there was an odd rant from a friend on Facebook, to which I replied in a smart ass kind of way -- who put a bug up you ___ -- I wrote.  I know this person pretty well.  Love her kids.  Am on 'kissing' terms with her husband.  AND then she really took off on me.  Didn't quite get that.  Maybe she was having a bad day and I just got in the way.  Maybe she took my comment as a criticism -- it wasn't.  Maybe she doesn't like me.

There were several responses I might have made.  The first one that came to mind was to call her.  I was at work and didn't have her number, so that was out.  The next thing was to UNfriend her -- how immature.  And what would that solve anyway?  Took me a very long time to get past the UNfriending option.  And then I decided that I would just eliminate my reply and let her nasty response just hang out there.  Let her make whatever next move she needed to make.

Facebook is a wonderful social media.  I love it because I can be in contact with my grandkids and Bill's grandkids and my nieces, all of whom I love.  I have made some wonderful connections.  Sometimes I even 'chat' with my son, Jeff.  Yes, Facebook does have an important role for us.

On the other hand, words are dangerous.  If they are misconstrued, misunderstood, misheard, misanything, it is a disaster.  We need to be aware that people respond from the emotion from which they are at the moment.  They might not be in the same place that we are when we place a message.  Walk softly.  Don't be rash.  Let things slide.  And watch the moon as seen between the leafing branches of the lilacs.  This, after all, is where God resides.

A FAITH WORTH QUESTIONING

 We have just finished the fifth of our Lenten series "The Last Week of Jesus" or whatever it was called.  Could have been called "The Walk to The Cross."  But, no, we did resurrection also.  Do we call this part of the 'life' of Jesus?  I guess we do if we're true Christians.  Then I ask myself, what is a true Christian?  Don't know.

We were faced with a LOT of historical 'stuff' that surrounds Jesus.  And then a lot of religious 'stuff,'  and then again a lot of 'iffy' stuff.  Was Jesus killed for political reasons or religious reasons?  Who was ultimately responsible for the death decision?   Then AFTER the death????

I have taken all this in and mixed it up with what I have already learned.  Stirred it around.  Some of it conflicts, some of it confirms, some of it is new.  Don't quite know how to put it all together.  Maybe I don't even have to.  In the end does any of it matter?  Right now I don't even know that.

Will I continue in my current faith practices?  Yes.  Will I change my mind about anything?  That's possible -- if it fits for me.  Notice that I say, 'for me.'  I can't take in what is important to a lot of other people.  In the end, it is between me and God and God will let me know.
 

RAIN, RAIN, AND RAIN

I'm going to have to think of something really cheerful tomorrow to chase away this dismal feeling that the rains have brought upon me.  Then again, it is supposed to be sunny.  Now THAT would be a plus.  I can get the rest of my brugmansia plants out and get the sticky icky from the buggies cleaned up.  Maybe sweep the deck and wipe off the chairs.   Yep, tomorrow just has to be a brighter day.
 

AHA -- CLEMATIS

 

Here they come!  The first tiny green leaves of the clematis.  I am SO excited.  Last year they were hidden from the sun and from me by the over growth of bamboo.  The bamboo is gone.  Now to watch these wonderful new leaf sprouts and watch as the beautiful lavender flowers appear.  I think they are lavender.  Maybe they are blue.  Sometimes you have to remove what has been so what was hidden can come forth again on its own. 

The bamboo served its purpose.  It filled a gaping spot.  Now we can have clematis.  The transplanted royal hosta can flourish.  Maybe even the astilbe will come forth again.  Things change.  Life goes on.
 

SANDWICHED

I am somehow feeling very compressed by my 'sandwich' days. Not opressed. Just squished -- drained, used up, strung out, no cope, no reserve, no energy, no interest, in fact, no nothing. So I plan to turn in early and hope to regain some strength and perspective.

Tomorrow seven a.m. teeth cleaning and nine thirty taxes. That should get me back into the realm.
 

NEW RESIDENT

 

During the past year or so Bill has been building birdhouses.  He just likes putting things together and playing with color.  This is the one that he hung on the front maple tree last week.  And THIS is the new resident. 

He/she (I am NOT a birder) was busily bringing in twigs this morning.  Who woulda thunk ....
 

REPRESENTING WHO????

 

They are not being donkeys.  They are not being elephants.  They are being smug, stupid pigs.  They are wallowing in their own mud.  They are DUMB, DUMB, DUMB.  Our government at NOT working.  It is an embarrassment.  And what is the point? 
 

EWWWE BUGGIES

 

My brugmansia plants have been in all winter.  I have three in the guest room downstairs, one in the sitting room downstairs, and eight or ten upstairs.  Suddenly the upstairs brugmansia are covered with these teeny, weeny, little yukky buggies.  I have had them before.  They are late coming this year.  I am tempted to just put all these plants outside and let them fend for themselves with the coming temperatures.  They are such icky bugs.  They leave some sort of sticky residue on everything underneath where they infest.  Yuk. Yuk. Yuk.

No icky buggies on the downstairs plants -- this year anyway.  In fact, one of the guest room plants has three flower pods.  Three.  Count them.  THREE.  In past years, the guest room plants have been the ones infested with icky bugs -- ALL winter.  There is no rhyme or reason.  No pattern.  It just seems hit or miss. 

One of life's little mysteries.

 

PILATE

 
The video and discussion this evening focused on Pilate. Obvious and necessary overlap from last Wednesday's Trial of Jesus and next week's crucifixion. But tonight we focused on Pilate. My personal conclusion is that he was a political figure concerned with one thing -- Pilate and Pilate's career.

Jesus was one among many crucifixions during Pilate's reign and this one among the many was of no account to him. He was just doing his job. Period. An insignificant player. The gospeliers developed him into a sympathetic character and the Jewish leaders became the collective scapegoat. And just look what that has done to us as Christians. Shameful. Sinful.
 

REPLAY

 

A large part of spring is, actually, 'come back' time.  There is not a whole lot that is new here.  It is a re-emergence of last year.  The surprise is always just how the REemergence arrives.  This Easter hyacinth from last year is pale in comparison to what it was.  But then, it was a greenhouse gift then, and now it has been out in nature for a year.  I am happy that it has 'come back' at all.  I am happy for the color that it is.  I am happy for the green of its leaves.  When the flowers have spent, I will add in some fertilizer to the soil and look forward to the re-emergence next spring.
 

 

The maple tree out front is loaded with flowers.  Tons and tons.  Paving the way for seeds then leafs.  I am lucky to have this tree.  When we moved here forty three years ago, it was the biggest tree in the neighborhood.  It has since been out grown by the oak tree out back and a fir tree across the street.  But it's still big.  And I love it .

There will be thunderstorms tomorrow and the flowers may all be pounded to the ground -- and, of course, the porch where they will leave their seasonal staining.  And be a mess that eventually has to swept up and mulched.  But come summer this wonderful maple shades the southern facing front of the house from the heat of the sun.  I love this tree.
 

GRILLIN' OR BURNIN'?

 

Hmmmm....  Is this grilled?  Scorched a little?  Charred?  Doesn't matter.  It is finally warm enough to really enjoy cooking out and we will now be cooking out LOTS.  These are sweet pots.  Next onto the grill will be pork steaks.  A Sunday feast.  Welcome to the season.
 

A LITTLE BIT OF BLUE

 

And after all that rain and sadness of bit of blue when we got home this afternoon.  It was good to see that little bit of blue showing out from behind the clouds.  An assurance that the grieving and gloom will dissipate.  The sadness of of death will one day just be a part of life and not an overwhelming cloud.  A promise of tomorrow.
 

IT'S FRIDAY

 

No snow -- yet.  but it is early on.  THAT would really be an April Fool.  People here in Connecticut were complaining about this coming snow.  They've had enough.  Not so for me.  I truly love the snow.  Not the cold for long, but definitely the beauty of the snow.

It is, however, wet.  I am hoping the weather is better in Pennsylvania for my granddaughter's Birthday Breakfast.  She has so been looking forward to that.  I would have liked to have been there but it is a young people's thing and I am many miles away.  I would have liked to have sent her a Birthday Card and a special note but I don't have her address.  She called me a few evenings ago and we chatted a bit.  That was nice.  Her father calls me frequently and keeps me caught up on family news.

The week has been clouded with an upcoming funeral scheduled for tomorrow.  An unfortunate loss from an accident on I 95 last Sunday morning.  A loved and gifted man, killed too soon for those left behind.  He was so kind and gentle and loving.  Farewell, Richard Casey.  Rest in peace.
 

NUTTIN',HONEY

Sometimes there is just nothing to say OR too much.

 

Yup, sometimes it's just a good idea to sit back and look at what's goin' on and being glad your not involved.  Thinking what's important and what's not and how most people don't come any where near knowin' that.  A lot of the time I don't either.  But when something big happens and I take the time to get myself out of the middle of things and be a bystander, or an onlooker, I can see how other people deal and react and not have to be a part of it.  Giving support if it's needed.  Keeping my mouth shut mostly and just letting everyone do what they need to do. 
 

WHAT YOU SEE ...

 

What you see is actually how you see it.  And the eye that sees it is not necessarily seeing what is.  We see things with eyes that just never seem to see it as it is.  Or maybe it is our brains that cannot accept things as they are.  OR is it that our experience doesn't allow us to perceive the real meaning of what we see.

This is complicated.  We are complicated.  Life is complicated.  I sure wish there was a formula to sort it all out and make sense of it. 
 

COMIN' UP SOUP

 

I love making soup.  Bill doesn't particularly like soup.  I do.  All kinds.  Don't get much of a chance to make up big pots of it.  This will be split pea.  For the Wednesday Evening Lent Supper and Study.  Last Wednesday we had Italian Wedding soup, watched a video and discussed Judas.  This week, The Trial of Jesus. 

Sharing a meal at table is such a wonderful experience.  A time to share our food and some of our story.  A time to get to know one another all over again.  And then share in some new knowledge and then, best of all, exchange views of what we have just seen and heard.  How does it change our thinking or attitude?  How does it fit with what we already know?  Does it change anything?  Is it relevant? 

This isn't probably proper thinking but for these Wednesday opportunities -- I do love Lent.
 

MERRY CHRISTMAS

 

Happiness is a frozen Margarita and peanuts at Texas Roadhouse -- compliments of a Christmas gift card.  This is a semi-annual treat.  Seldom enough that I forget that the first sip is BRAIN FREEZE.  I thought my temples would touch the inside corners of my eyes and the bridge of my nose would reach through to the base of my skull.  I was so numb that my focus wasn't and my breathing almost stopped.  I didn't think I would be able to move -- ever again.

After a few minutes the freeze began to thaw, focus came back and head parts went back into their normal places.  Whew!  Six months from now I'll probably do it again.  I am not one to learn from experience.  I sort of just make it up as I go along and don't make the realistic adjustments that are necessary in life.  I fumble a lot.  Get hurt a lot -- feelings that is.  And in general just don't pay attention to life.
 

LEFT OVER PIZZA

 

My new favorite pizza -- Hawaiian.  Pineapple, ham, and BACON.

Even better warmed up again the next day.

 

IT'S FRIDAY

 

The Week In Review

Two snows this week -- Monday and Thursday.  Really remarkable for this late in March.  Enjoyable though.  Beauty and easy driving is always a plus.  And I do love the snow.  Plus on Monday the awakening of a new venture with the idea of reviving the Pastoral Care Team with the inclusion of Betania folk.  It just keeps getting better and better.

Wednesday was a nuts day this week with a lot of stuff sandwiched all in the after of noon -- Spiritual Avisor, always a plus; couples therapy, usually a plus; and then Lenten Soup Supper and a program on Judas.  Hmmmm, was Judas really a bad guy?  Maybe not.  So I have pulled The Gospel of Judas off the Internet and will look through it.

Then the furnace saga.  We have been smelling oil fumes for ages.  Even after the annual cleaning and still after the "tweaking."  But yesterday we finally had a knoweldgeable person who really worked hard to get it right.  And he did. 

My week begins on Monday and ends on Friday.  Those two sandwiched days in between are where I recover from the prior week and gear up for the next.  AND, of course, do fun stuff.  But I don't count Saturday and Sunday as any part of my "week."  It seems like sort of a no man's land, I guess.  But all the days are my life.  Sundays are ALWAYS church.  Does that begin the week or end the week?  Neither.  Sundays are just right there.  Always the high point.  Tomnorrow, though, a baseball game as our Sam begins playing the season.  should be fun to be with the family and out of doors.  Could be nippy though.  I'll dress warmly.
 

SNOW COVERED BUDS

 

And so snow once again.  Just enough to make the world beautiful.  It isn't going to stay around very long because the temps are running up into the low forties today.  So this is probably the last of this season's snow.  I relish every moment of today and look forward to what is coming.
 

SPRING COMETH ....

Well, maybe.  Right now it is very gray and very wet and very cold.  There is even some snow now and then.  Depite all of this the buds on the maple tree are swelling in praparation for flowering.  I can wait.  I can enjoy seeing them in their beginning redness.  They will get more red before they burst open and fall.  They will be so red that they will once again stain the front steps and porch.  And that's okay because last summer's sun and winter's snows have bleached last spring's red stains away. 

I am so lucky to have this tree in the front yard.  I have been watching it and enjoying its every season for forty seven years.  I love this tree.  This fall we had the tree guy come in and trim it out and put in bracing cables.  There are four cables to enable the tree to withstand the severe winds that we have had.  Cannot imagine what would have happened had the cables not been in place.  This tree is perhaps the most consistent thing in my life.  Part of God's creation.  I love this tree.
 

PASTORAL CARE

Pastoral Care has been a passion of mine for several years.  I have attended many seminars and symposiums in an attempt to be all that I can be in this area.  The more I learn, the more I realize that I still need to learn.  And I will continue to learn more.

God visited me Monday evening as I was driving up I95 to Spanish class.  And God said:  A joint Betania/Grace Pastoral Care Team is what needs to happen.  That was it.  When God speaks, I don't ask a lot of questions.  In fact, usually NONE.  I just run with what I am given.

RevLois was as excited about this call as I.  We dreamed months down the road.  We mapped out what our first four gatherings might look like.  A union of a Spanish speaking congregation with an English speaking congregation is HUGE.  But what a basic way to bring the two together -- pastoral care is pretty universal.  We love one another.  We care for one another.  And we can learn to do it well -- TOGETHER.

And God being God, today I received an e-mail from Lois passing on an offering from Norwalk Hospital for Pastoral Care Groups -- a course named "No One Dies Alone."  Whoah!  O.K. God, we hear you.  Loud and Clear.
 

SPRING SURPRISE

 

Imagine my delight to see the snow coming down so thick and white. There is just something so special about snow. It's clean. And pure. And I need that hope of newness in my life right now. The chance to have all the wrongness cleansed away. To begin again and try to get it right.
 

WHAT'SA HOSTA?

 

Well, NOT a hyacinth.  I was wondering what he was talking about when he mentioned digging up the hostas.  Which, by the way, over multiply and take over.  But I wasn't paying enough attention.  Or probably any attention.  Or dismissed the whole thing.  Whatever.  A ton of recently sprouted hyacinths have been removed from their spring, blossom forming home.  Some of them may be replanted in other locations.  I don't know whether they will bloom.  Well, if not this spring, maybe next.  Doesn't matter.  What does matter is that I learn to pay more attention to the intentions of the resident landscape person.
 

GAUGING KNITTING NEEDLES

 

Who woulda thunk that there is such a difference from a size  13 to a size 11?  Really there is.  I began knitting this current shawl with a size 13.  It was awkward and tiring and I couldn't knit very long at a time without my fingers getting awkward and stiff.  Then I changed over to size elevens.  WOW!  A BIG difference.  I can now knit, knit, knit.  My fingers seem to fit and do not tire.  No more size 13 -- ever.

Then I decided to get out the needle gauge that I inherited from my mother.  A beautiful aluminum, Susan Bates needle guage.  Interesting that the smallest size is zero and then the increments are by one -- 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 -- then SURPRISE 10 1/2.  Hmm, I wonder why that is.  The next size is 11 and then surprise again, 13, then 15, then another surprise 16.  I don't see any rhyme or reason for these numbers.  I suppose a great deal of thought was put into this many, many eons ago.  I can just accept it and be thankful that I have a gauge.
 

IT'S FRIDAY

 

The Week In Review

It seems to have been such a long week.  Even with the washing maching fixed and back in place we have had three episodes of the sump failing.  Wednesday night was the final straw.  As I came in from the Lent program at church, I could hear the pump grinding away.  Went downstairs to see if I could right it but nothing I tried seemed to work.  Bill was out at a family Birthday dinner so I had to worry it out until he came home.  He took one look at it and said, 'It's dead.'

So Bill's project yesterday was to put in a new sump.  As with everything this required multiple trips up and downstairs and to Home Depot.  He was finally finishing this up when he went into the side of his van to get a tool and discovered that he had been robbed.  The lock punched out and some very nice tools taken.  Don't know when.  Don't even know where because I cannot see how this could have happened right in our driveway.  But then odd things do happen.  Bill is feeling violated but otherwise taking it pretty well.

During all of this chaos I somehow managed to feel some renewed energy and am making headway into some long overdue household chores.  I'm actually feeling pretty good about this.  A little order goes a long way for making me feel more ambitious and productive.  So, it is a cycle well started.
 

LAND LINE

 

I still have a wall phone on my kitchen wall.  With a  l o n g a,  l o n g a  cord.  Time was when I would walk around the kitchen doing dishes, fixing meals, cleaning up.  Not any more.  I was never much of a telephone talker and with the advent of the computer I use the phone as little as possible -- the exception being talking with my sister.

Jacq still talks on the phone -- a lot.  She has several distantly located contacts with whom she checks in periodically and spends an hour or so.  Not me.  I will talk to Jacq for an hour or more but with anyone else I get fidgety and bored.  Not with Jacq.

As soon as there was Prodigy, I was an instant cyberspace communicator.  When Prodigy went by the wayside I was instantly a subscriber to AOL.  IM'd a lot.  E-mail is my main communication link.  My sister and I e-mail every day.  (And we still have things to talk about when we phone.)  Church communication is done via e-mail.  Luncheon dates with the "Ladies" is done through e-mail.  People know not to call unless it is an absolute emergency, otherwise just rest assured that I will answer the e-mail.

And so the phone sits idle most of the time.  Interesting that with cell phones and IPhones, and FaceBook, we have REnamed the phone.  It is now considered a Land Line.  Progress is weird -- on many levels.
 

SOUP AND ...

 

... bread.  Of course.  And our local ShopRite makes the most wonderful rosemary and ripe olive bread.  Lent is my opportunity to make soup and indulge in this delicious bread -- and butter.  Real butter. 

This week chicken soup with sweet potatoes, celery, mushrooms and a fair amount of poached chicken breast.  Nothing that should be on anyones 'dislike' list.  Next time though I may make pumpkin-white bean.  Many people don't do beans.  I love beans.  And another time maybe tomato something.  We have a few people who don't do tomatoes.  But chicken is pretty safe. 

Safe is good.  Some of the time.  But taking chances and trying out new things is also good.  Taking a chance means the possibility of failing.  Or in the case of soup, disaster.  I've had my share of those.  I keep trying new combinations though.  I put the failures on the 'let's not do this again' list.  The successes are usually the basis for further experimentation.  Sort of like life.  I just keep trying to get it to be the best that I can.  I guess when I finally succeed, I'll be done.
 

TIME OUT

 

Yup, a glass of wine before dishing up dinner sounds like a really good idea.  I think I'm pushing myself a little too much.  Planning too much for the available time.  This morning I did a day's work BEFORE I went to work.  I need to pace myself better.  Take more rests.  Be more judicious with my planning.  I get a list of projects in my head and then can't let it go.  At the end of the day I'm disappointed because I didn't get everything accomplished. 

So, time out.  Slow down.  Have a glass of wine.  Take some deep breaths.  AND it might even be a good idea to let God into the day.
 

HANGING IN THERE .....

 

This is just about the best I can do for now.  Just hang in and cope.  The phone keeps ringing.  The sump pump stumbled and there is water all over the cellar floor.  The oil burner smells -- the service guy will come when he can.  My Spanish essay isn't even started.  I'm behind on my Lent discipline.  Laundry needs folding.  I am feeling pressured by all these silly aggravations of my life.  God doesn't care about any of this, so I think I'll just take a few deep breaths, pray for a little calmness, and get busy.
 

SHARING OUR STORY

 

Jeff has been leading us through some different ways of understanding our own stories.  We know one another through the sharing of our stories.  First we need to know and remember our own past before we can understand and appreciate the stories of others.  And we have to learn to be comfortable telling our stories and making others comfortable when they tell theirs.

This morning after our service we were given yet another exercise to awaken memories and record them for ourselves.  There are just so many ways that we can do this.  Today we were given a standard sheet of copy paper and the choice of writing/drawing implement.  I had my purple gel pen with me so I was all set.  We were instructed to choose an 'elder' or some person in our life that had been a significant influence.  Hmmmm.... I am nearly seventy-four.  A LOT of people have influenced who I am.  I chose my dad.

The next part of the instruction was to write that persons name in the center of the paper, circle it if we wanted, and  t h e n  whatever popped into our mind, draw a line, write it down -- words or pictures.  And if that thought sparked another, draw a line, identify the thought -- an so on.  We were given ten/fifteen minutes.  My mind works quickly so I drew lines and circles and words and simple pictures.  And then I stopped and looked at all of it and was surprised.

Jeff asked:  "What did that feel like for you?"  Most said that it brought back forgotten memories.  For me it was a surprise.  It seems that I am much like my dad and hadn't realized the similarities.  It made me feel good.  And sad.  Notice the heart with the hole that he left in my life when he died.  Also notice that he was so connected to my sister and she to me with a love that is so binding, and the love of God, who holds me in God's hands.
 

 

Sunshine and blue sky.  After all of the nasty dreary weather we have had this is a welcome relief.  A lift of the spirits.  Plus today is our Mission Outreach gathering at Grace.  We are talking about and learning how each one of us can make a difference in the community around us.  Not a throw money at an established group kind of thing -- a real hands on face to face offering.  We are still in the discussion stage and beginnings are slow and sometimes cumbersome.  We are, however, exploring opportunities and open to challenge.
 

IT'S FRIDAY

 

The Week In Review

The washer was repaired on Monday for $25 in parts and not too many hours of Bill's labor.  Sure beats the $850 we were thinking.  Accolades for Bill!!  Then, of course, the sump switch got turned off and when I arrived home from church Tuesday evening the cellar had a layer of water.  Oh, well.  You win some you lose some.

We held a bilingual service on Wednesday with our resident congregation, Iglesia Betania.  Ashes and Eucharist and hymns in Spanish and English and RevLois preached alternating Spanish and English, as did Padre Jose when he celebrated the Eucharist.  Slowly we are growing together.

My eight thirty AM dentist appointment yesterday wiped me out for the rest of the day.  That and the rain are just a lot to handle together.  And the rain continues into today.  I am hoping the weekend will give us a little relief.  That would be really nice since Saturday night we will have to set the clocks ahead and, once more, give our internal body clocks a jolt.
 

BLUE FOR THURSDAY

 

I am dressed in shades of blue today because the softness of pastel blue is comforting for me.  I have spent two hours in the dentist chair and I am wiped.  No pain.  Just the pressure on my teeth and 'stuff' in my mouth, and the sound of the drill, and the smells of everything.  The dentist is a love and we have marvelous conversations.  This crown that just went in is as close to perfect as it could be.  It just slipped right, was seated comfortably, the bite is right, and all is well. 

Then the drill.  Novocaine because it was getting too deep.  And then the decay had gone past filling and into the inlay stage.  That took more time and another x-ray and another impression.  It was a lot.  I am not thirty any more and it has taken a LOT out of me.  BUT, put on the comforting colors; get a comforting can of tomato basil soup; and off to work I go.