NUTTIN',HONEY

Sometimes there is just nothing to say OR too much.

 

Yup, sometimes it's just a good idea to sit back and look at what's goin' on and being glad your not involved.  Thinking what's important and what's not and how most people don't come any where near knowin' that.  A lot of the time I don't either.  But when something big happens and I take the time to get myself out of the middle of things and be a bystander, or an onlooker, I can see how other people deal and react and not have to be a part of it.  Giving support if it's needed.  Keeping my mouth shut mostly and just letting everyone do what they need to do. 
 

WHAT YOU SEE ...

 

What you see is actually how you see it.  And the eye that sees it is not necessarily seeing what is.  We see things with eyes that just never seem to see it as it is.  Or maybe it is our brains that cannot accept things as they are.  OR is it that our experience doesn't allow us to perceive the real meaning of what we see.

This is complicated.  We are complicated.  Life is complicated.  I sure wish there was a formula to sort it all out and make sense of it. 
 

COMIN' UP SOUP

 

I love making soup.  Bill doesn't particularly like soup.  I do.  All kinds.  Don't get much of a chance to make up big pots of it.  This will be split pea.  For the Wednesday Evening Lent Supper and Study.  Last Wednesday we had Italian Wedding soup, watched a video and discussed Judas.  This week, The Trial of Jesus. 

Sharing a meal at table is such a wonderful experience.  A time to share our food and some of our story.  A time to get to know one another all over again.  And then share in some new knowledge and then, best of all, exchange views of what we have just seen and heard.  How does it change our thinking or attitude?  How does it fit with what we already know?  Does it change anything?  Is it relevant? 

This isn't probably proper thinking but for these Wednesday opportunities -- I do love Lent.
 

MERRY CHRISTMAS

 

Happiness is a frozen Margarita and peanuts at Texas Roadhouse -- compliments of a Christmas gift card.  This is a semi-annual treat.  Seldom enough that I forget that the first sip is BRAIN FREEZE.  I thought my temples would touch the inside corners of my eyes and the bridge of my nose would reach through to the base of my skull.  I was so numb that my focus wasn't and my breathing almost stopped.  I didn't think I would be able to move -- ever again.

After a few minutes the freeze began to thaw, focus came back and head parts went back into their normal places.  Whew!  Six months from now I'll probably do it again.  I am not one to learn from experience.  I sort of just make it up as I go along and don't make the realistic adjustments that are necessary in life.  I fumble a lot.  Get hurt a lot -- feelings that is.  And in general just don't pay attention to life.
 

LEFT OVER PIZZA

 

My new favorite pizza -- Hawaiian.  Pineapple, ham, and BACON.

Even better warmed up again the next day.

 

IT'S FRIDAY

 

The Week In Review

Two snows this week -- Monday and Thursday.  Really remarkable for this late in March.  Enjoyable though.  Beauty and easy driving is always a plus.  And I do love the snow.  Plus on Monday the awakening of a new venture with the idea of reviving the Pastoral Care Team with the inclusion of Betania folk.  It just keeps getting better and better.

Wednesday was a nuts day this week with a lot of stuff sandwiched all in the after of noon -- Spiritual Avisor, always a plus; couples therapy, usually a plus; and then Lenten Soup Supper and a program on Judas.  Hmmmm, was Judas really a bad guy?  Maybe not.  So I have pulled The Gospel of Judas off the Internet and will look through it.

Then the furnace saga.  We have been smelling oil fumes for ages.  Even after the annual cleaning and still after the "tweaking."  But yesterday we finally had a knoweldgeable person who really worked hard to get it right.  And he did. 

My week begins on Monday and ends on Friday.  Those two sandwiched days in between are where I recover from the prior week and gear up for the next.  AND, of course, do fun stuff.  But I don't count Saturday and Sunday as any part of my "week."  It seems like sort of a no man's land, I guess.  But all the days are my life.  Sundays are ALWAYS church.  Does that begin the week or end the week?  Neither.  Sundays are just right there.  Always the high point.  Tomnorrow, though, a baseball game as our Sam begins playing the season.  should be fun to be with the family and out of doors.  Could be nippy though.  I'll dress warmly.
 

SNOW COVERED BUDS

 

And so snow once again.  Just enough to make the world beautiful.  It isn't going to stay around very long because the temps are running up into the low forties today.  So this is probably the last of this season's snow.  I relish every moment of today and look forward to what is coming.
 

SPRING COMETH ....

Well, maybe.  Right now it is very gray and very wet and very cold.  There is even some snow now and then.  Depite all of this the buds on the maple tree are swelling in praparation for flowering.  I can wait.  I can enjoy seeing them in their beginning redness.  They will get more red before they burst open and fall.  They will be so red that they will once again stain the front steps and porch.  And that's okay because last summer's sun and winter's snows have bleached last spring's red stains away. 

I am so lucky to have this tree in the front yard.  I have been watching it and enjoying its every season for forty seven years.  I love this tree.  This fall we had the tree guy come in and trim it out and put in bracing cables.  There are four cables to enable the tree to withstand the severe winds that we have had.  Cannot imagine what would have happened had the cables not been in place.  This tree is perhaps the most consistent thing in my life.  Part of God's creation.  I love this tree.
 

PASTORAL CARE

Pastoral Care has been a passion of mine for several years.  I have attended many seminars and symposiums in an attempt to be all that I can be in this area.  The more I learn, the more I realize that I still need to learn.  And I will continue to learn more.

God visited me Monday evening as I was driving up I95 to Spanish class.  And God said:  A joint Betania/Grace Pastoral Care Team is what needs to happen.  That was it.  When God speaks, I don't ask a lot of questions.  In fact, usually NONE.  I just run with what I am given.

RevLois was as excited about this call as I.  We dreamed months down the road.  We mapped out what our first four gatherings might look like.  A union of a Spanish speaking congregation with an English speaking congregation is HUGE.  But what a basic way to bring the two together -- pastoral care is pretty universal.  We love one another.  We care for one another.  And we can learn to do it well -- TOGETHER.

And God being God, today I received an e-mail from Lois passing on an offering from Norwalk Hospital for Pastoral Care Groups -- a course named "No One Dies Alone."  Whoah!  O.K. God, we hear you.  Loud and Clear.
 

SPRING SURPRISE

 

Imagine my delight to see the snow coming down so thick and white. There is just something so special about snow. It's clean. And pure. And I need that hope of newness in my life right now. The chance to have all the wrongness cleansed away. To begin again and try to get it right.
 

WHAT'SA HOSTA?

 

Well, NOT a hyacinth.  I was wondering what he was talking about when he mentioned digging up the hostas.  Which, by the way, over multiply and take over.  But I wasn't paying enough attention.  Or probably any attention.  Or dismissed the whole thing.  Whatever.  A ton of recently sprouted hyacinths have been removed from their spring, blossom forming home.  Some of them may be replanted in other locations.  I don't know whether they will bloom.  Well, if not this spring, maybe next.  Doesn't matter.  What does matter is that I learn to pay more attention to the intentions of the resident landscape person.
 

GAUGING KNITTING NEEDLES

 

Who woulda thunk that there is such a difference from a size  13 to a size 11?  Really there is.  I began knitting this current shawl with a size 13.  It was awkward and tiring and I couldn't knit very long at a time without my fingers getting awkward and stiff.  Then I changed over to size elevens.  WOW!  A BIG difference.  I can now knit, knit, knit.  My fingers seem to fit and do not tire.  No more size 13 -- ever.

Then I decided to get out the needle gauge that I inherited from my mother.  A beautiful aluminum, Susan Bates needle guage.  Interesting that the smallest size is zero and then the increments are by one -- 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 -- then SURPRISE 10 1/2.  Hmm, I wonder why that is.  The next size is 11 and then surprise again, 13, then 15, then another surprise 16.  I don't see any rhyme or reason for these numbers.  I suppose a great deal of thought was put into this many, many eons ago.  I can just accept it and be thankful that I have a gauge.
 

IT'S FRIDAY

 

The Week In Review

It seems to have been such a long week.  Even with the washing maching fixed and back in place we have had three episodes of the sump failing.  Wednesday night was the final straw.  As I came in from the Lent program at church, I could hear the pump grinding away.  Went downstairs to see if I could right it but nothing I tried seemed to work.  Bill was out at a family Birthday dinner so I had to worry it out until he came home.  He took one look at it and said, 'It's dead.'

So Bill's project yesterday was to put in a new sump.  As with everything this required multiple trips up and downstairs and to Home Depot.  He was finally finishing this up when he went into the side of his van to get a tool and discovered that he had been robbed.  The lock punched out and some very nice tools taken.  Don't know when.  Don't even know where because I cannot see how this could have happened right in our driveway.  But then odd things do happen.  Bill is feeling violated but otherwise taking it pretty well.

During all of this chaos I somehow managed to feel some renewed energy and am making headway into some long overdue household chores.  I'm actually feeling pretty good about this.  A little order goes a long way for making me feel more ambitious and productive.  So, it is a cycle well started.
 

LAND LINE

 

I still have a wall phone on my kitchen wall.  With a  l o n g a,  l o n g a  cord.  Time was when I would walk around the kitchen doing dishes, fixing meals, cleaning up.  Not any more.  I was never much of a telephone talker and with the advent of the computer I use the phone as little as possible -- the exception being talking with my sister.

Jacq still talks on the phone -- a lot.  She has several distantly located contacts with whom she checks in periodically and spends an hour or so.  Not me.  I will talk to Jacq for an hour or more but with anyone else I get fidgety and bored.  Not with Jacq.

As soon as there was Prodigy, I was an instant cyberspace communicator.  When Prodigy went by the wayside I was instantly a subscriber to AOL.  IM'd a lot.  E-mail is my main communication link.  My sister and I e-mail every day.  (And we still have things to talk about when we phone.)  Church communication is done via e-mail.  Luncheon dates with the "Ladies" is done through e-mail.  People know not to call unless it is an absolute emergency, otherwise just rest assured that I will answer the e-mail.

And so the phone sits idle most of the time.  Interesting that with cell phones and IPhones, and FaceBook, we have REnamed the phone.  It is now considered a Land Line.  Progress is weird -- on many levels.
 

SOUP AND ...

 

... bread.  Of course.  And our local ShopRite makes the most wonderful rosemary and ripe olive bread.  Lent is my opportunity to make soup and indulge in this delicious bread -- and butter.  Real butter. 

This week chicken soup with sweet potatoes, celery, mushrooms and a fair amount of poached chicken breast.  Nothing that should be on anyones 'dislike' list.  Next time though I may make pumpkin-white bean.  Many people don't do beans.  I love beans.  And another time maybe tomato something.  We have a few people who don't do tomatoes.  But chicken is pretty safe. 

Safe is good.  Some of the time.  But taking chances and trying out new things is also good.  Taking a chance means the possibility of failing.  Or in the case of soup, disaster.  I've had my share of those.  I keep trying new combinations though.  I put the failures on the 'let's not do this again' list.  The successes are usually the basis for further experimentation.  Sort of like life.  I just keep trying to get it to be the best that I can.  I guess when I finally succeed, I'll be done.
 

TIME OUT

 

Yup, a glass of wine before dishing up dinner sounds like a really good idea.  I think I'm pushing myself a little too much.  Planning too much for the available time.  This morning I did a day's work BEFORE I went to work.  I need to pace myself better.  Take more rests.  Be more judicious with my planning.  I get a list of projects in my head and then can't let it go.  At the end of the day I'm disappointed because I didn't get everything accomplished. 

So, time out.  Slow down.  Have a glass of wine.  Take some deep breaths.  AND it might even be a good idea to let God into the day.
 

HANGING IN THERE .....

 

This is just about the best I can do for now.  Just hang in and cope.  The phone keeps ringing.  The sump pump stumbled and there is water all over the cellar floor.  The oil burner smells -- the service guy will come when he can.  My Spanish essay isn't even started.  I'm behind on my Lent discipline.  Laundry needs folding.  I am feeling pressured by all these silly aggravations of my life.  God doesn't care about any of this, so I think I'll just take a few deep breaths, pray for a little calmness, and get busy.
 

SHARING OUR STORY

 

Jeff has been leading us through some different ways of understanding our own stories.  We know one another through the sharing of our stories.  First we need to know and remember our own past before we can understand and appreciate the stories of others.  And we have to learn to be comfortable telling our stories and making others comfortable when they tell theirs.

This morning after our service we were given yet another exercise to awaken memories and record them for ourselves.  There are just so many ways that we can do this.  Today we were given a standard sheet of copy paper and the choice of writing/drawing implement.  I had my purple gel pen with me so I was all set.  We were instructed to choose an 'elder' or some person in our life that had been a significant influence.  Hmmmm.... I am nearly seventy-four.  A LOT of people have influenced who I am.  I chose my dad.

The next part of the instruction was to write that persons name in the center of the paper, circle it if we wanted, and  t h e n  whatever popped into our mind, draw a line, write it down -- words or pictures.  And if that thought sparked another, draw a line, identify the thought -- an so on.  We were given ten/fifteen minutes.  My mind works quickly so I drew lines and circles and words and simple pictures.  And then I stopped and looked at all of it and was surprised.

Jeff asked:  "What did that feel like for you?"  Most said that it brought back forgotten memories.  For me it was a surprise.  It seems that I am much like my dad and hadn't realized the similarities.  It made me feel good.  And sad.  Notice the heart with the hole that he left in my life when he died.  Also notice that he was so connected to my sister and she to me with a love that is so binding, and the love of God, who holds me in God's hands.
 

 

Sunshine and blue sky.  After all of the nasty dreary weather we have had this is a welcome relief.  A lift of the spirits.  Plus today is our Mission Outreach gathering at Grace.  We are talking about and learning how each one of us can make a difference in the community around us.  Not a throw money at an established group kind of thing -- a real hands on face to face offering.  We are still in the discussion stage and beginnings are slow and sometimes cumbersome.  We are, however, exploring opportunities and open to challenge.
 

IT'S FRIDAY

 

The Week In Review

The washer was repaired on Monday for $25 in parts and not too many hours of Bill's labor.  Sure beats the $850 we were thinking.  Accolades for Bill!!  Then, of course, the sump switch got turned off and when I arrived home from church Tuesday evening the cellar had a layer of water.  Oh, well.  You win some you lose some.

We held a bilingual service on Wednesday with our resident congregation, Iglesia Betania.  Ashes and Eucharist and hymns in Spanish and English and RevLois preached alternating Spanish and English, as did Padre Jose when he celebrated the Eucharist.  Slowly we are growing together.

My eight thirty AM dentist appointment yesterday wiped me out for the rest of the day.  That and the rain are just a lot to handle together.  And the rain continues into today.  I am hoping the weekend will give us a little relief.  That would be really nice since Saturday night we will have to set the clocks ahead and, once more, give our internal body clocks a jolt.
 

BLUE FOR THURSDAY

 

I am dressed in shades of blue today because the softness of pastel blue is comforting for me.  I have spent two hours in the dentist chair and I am wiped.  No pain.  Just the pressure on my teeth and 'stuff' in my mouth, and the sound of the drill, and the smells of everything.  The dentist is a love and we have marvelous conversations.  This crown that just went in is as close to perfect as it could be.  It just slipped right, was seated comfortably, the bite is right, and all is well. 

Then the drill.  Novocaine because it was getting too deep.  And then the decay had gone past filling and into the inlay stage.  That took more time and another x-ray and another impression.  It was a lot.  I am not thirty any more and it has taken a LOT out of me.  BUT, put on the comforting colors; get a comforting can of tomato basil soup; and off to work I go.
 

DUST TO DUST

 

It is cold, overcast and dreary.  I am feeling introspective and pensive.  It must be the "ashes to ashes" thing of this beginning of Lent.  So it seemed like a good time to play with the color options on my camera and see what happened.  There is a sepia and a cyanatype option.  The blue of cyanatype made a much brighter and optimistic picture.  The sepia was more how I am feeling.  Old in the fashion of time and thoughtful.  Almost sad but not quite.  Waiting.

I have settled on a Lenten discipline which I will just keep to myself for now.  It requires both real daily discipline but involves creativity and reaching out to others in a thoughtful way.  It will be good for me -- both the creativity, which I so enjoy and do not spend enough time developing,  AND the reaching out which I usually do on the spur of the moment.  So this is a good all round discipline.  May God be with me these forty days.
 

GOD'S PROMISE -- AGAIN

It was March of last year that I posted a crocus photo and then just stopped posting -- nothing, nada.  And then I started in again at the beginning of this year with a posting every day.  I really don't know why this happened.  I don't know how long I will continue.  As long as .....

These first spurts of color are still a promise from God.  For me anyway.  Today is Shrove Tuesday and tomorrow Ash Wednesday.  I will not post Lenten stuff daily.  If you guys want to read daily Lent blogs there are enough of them out there.  Not for me.  Not this year.  I will just continue on in this same haphazard fashion posting what strikes me each day.
 

CREATION INCLUDES WORDS TOO

 

I scan the CNN news site every morning.  That's where I find out about a lot of weird stuff -- like the Trikke and the FiveFinger shoes.  Health stuff, food stuff, and techy stuff.  News too, of course.

This morning I came across Microsoft's 'Bing.'  I had no clue so I checked it out in the posted article which you can read here.  And that is where I came across the word 'meme' which I had never seen before.  Hello, Wikepedia, and lo, and behold, a new word has come into existence.  If you are interested you can read more than you'll ever want to know about the word here.

I love it, creation is just happening everywhere.
 

MAJOR MALFUNCTION

  

Wednesday the washing machine decided to stop spinning.  Of course, it contained a load of soggy clothes.  What else?  Bill was good enough to take them to the laundromat and spin them out while I was at church. 

We needed to figure out how to even get into the working parts of the machine so Bill did some nosing around on the Internet and found some videos that showed repair jobs -- maybe.  Saturday he ascertained that it couldn't be in the agitator function, it must be the transmission and for the price of a transmission we might just as well get a new washer.

Then I did some research on the web and because I couldn't get the Consumer Report that I needed, we went to the library.  Got what I needed and we were off looking.  I had an idea of what I wanted.  Figured we might as well go with a front loader that was more energy efficient, used less water, and spun the clothes dryer.  So all I needed to do was look at the product, get some pricing figures, and make a decision.  We (I) made a decision but would not purchase the same day wanting to sit on it overnight.  By this morning I was ready.

While I was at church, Bill removed the washer and dryer so that he could go about replacing the platform they had been sitting on for seventeen years.  Longer as this is the second washer in here and the platform was in before that.  Over the years there has been water -- seepage, bottomed out water heater, and just the usual heavy rain stuff -- so there was a lot of yukky decay.  BUT the interesting thing is that when he moved the washer, right underneath it, on the platform, was an obvious worn out part.

More Internet searching.  We found the part and the part number.  Bill, who is just the best at taking things apart, located where the  damaged/worn out part belongs.  Now all we have to do is locate a new part (more Internet research), get it into the base of the washer, get the whole thing put back together again -- and hope it works.
 

BEGINNNG SHAWL MINISTRY

 

A skein of yarn.  Size thirteen circular needles. 

Fifty seven cast on stitches. 

It is a beginning. 

The cast on and two rows were done last night at home.  The remainder of the three and a half inches were done during the gathering of the new Shawl Ministry.  Six women and two men knitting and crocheting shawls to give to others for solace and comfort.  When they are finished they will be washed and blocked and dried and folded and placed on the altar for blessing.   They will then be offered to whomever might want a comforting wrap around made with love and prayers, communion and fellowship. 

It is much more than the beginning of a shawl, or even a ministry.  It is the beginning of the bond that forms between those who gather for this work.  The sharing of stories.  Sharing sadness and hope, milestones and apprehension, pain and joy -- love for one another. 

This is the beginning.

 

IT'S FRIDAY

 

It is being a  challenging week. Emotionally and literally.  I am really missing Jopa and Scott and Jimmy.  I get to see them so seldom and when they are here I don't seem to get to know them well enough at all.  Jeff I get to see more frequently; he is having car and job troubles and it is hard to know how to be positive, loving, and supportive.  He is doing wonderfully well  in the positive department.  A role model for many.

Monday.  What happened to Monday?  I don't quite remember.  There was Spanish class. I remember that.  And I did not do too badly.  But now I am supposed to be preparing an essay for NEXT Monday and, damn, it's half way here and I haven't even started.  I guess I had better make that part of the weekend priority.

My deskmate at work went home violently ill on Tuesday and I was left with the wondering if I was next.  So far not.  And she was better on Thursday.  Bill seems to be getting better also.  Such a long slow healing.  Of course, the fall down the stairs on Christmas Eve did not help his other health problems.  His cough and lack of energy seem to be on the mend.  That's uplifting for me.  I was beginning to get VERY dragged down by his slow recovery.

Wednesday evening was the gathering of the two Episcopal congregations that worship at Grace.  At our "1st Wednesday" gathering, I experienced a Bible study that went sour.    Have never experienced that before and it has left me with a very uneasy feeling.  I am still trying to work through all of that.

Going into the weekend I am looking forward to the gathering of the new Shawl Ministry --  maybe some solace and peace.  And then Bill and I will take off for an adventure just for the two of us.  Maybe a picture taking opp or maybe an IKEA shopping tour.  I am really needing a decent chair.  We'll see.

Life is interesting.  Life is good.  Bring on the weekend.
 

OLD OR OLDER?

 

My eyesight is still very good -- with the aid of glasses, of course.  I spotted this skeletal fragment on the ancient bricks in front of the shed.  The snow has finally melted away and there it was.  I brought it up onto the deck to show to Bill.  The piece is just over three inches long and I have looked at it the other way around too -- upper jaw bone or lower jaw bone?.  When I went to Ladies' Lunch that day, I drew a rough sketch on a napkin.    It was thought that it might be a jawbone of an opossum.  Hmmmm..... It has been a very long time since I have seen an opossum around.  That, of course, does not mean that they aren't.

And then the question for me was how did this skeletal fragment get there?  And where was the rest?  And what happened?  I guess this is the curiosity that inspires archaeologists.  Following my curiosity is not going to happen.  I'll leave that for others.  But it was sure enlightening and thought provoking to find such a relic.
 

WHEN IT RAINS .....

 

The Morton Salt girl is still happily walking in the rain under her umbrella with her box of salt freely flowing even in the dampness.  Some how the expression "When it rains, it pours," always meant that when troubles came, there were going to be a LOT of troubles.  Then comes the Morton Salt girl making light of the expression. 

When my washing machine went this morning, I thought of the expression.  There were still wet clothes with which to contend.  There was a time frame within which to work it out -- not.  Bill was not in a mood to deal with it.  The repair service could not schedule me until way next week and then not at a good time. 

The church newsletter was giving me agita.  Paying the monthly bills was more agita -- more imagined than real, actually.  It's just the principle of the thing.  Money going out as fast as it comes in.  Then the camera batteries were low -- again.  And the SD card didn't seem to be downloading properly.  Time is running out for a needed grocery stop. 

All little annoyances in the big picture of things.  Perhaps that is why the Morton Salt girl smiles.  She knows the secret.  Don't sweat the small stuff.  Suck it up.  Move on.

 

SISTERS ARE THE BEST



Happiness is getting a phone call from my sister.  Jac does not do AIM or FB  chat.  So once in a while we use the landline.  And it is a great hour of talk, catching up on what is happening to us, how we feel about all of that, and how we think about it going forward.  And she can say whatever she wants, and I will accept that.  AND I can say whatever I want, and she will accept it.  Does not make a difference whether we like it, love it, condone it, hate it, doesn't matter.  We listen.  What a lost art it that?  Listening.  There ought to be listening courses.  No one knows how to do that anymore.  THESE sisters do.  We listen.  We love. Doesn't get any better than that.