THE HELPFULNESS OF PRAYER

 

 

 Yesterday my Bishops led a walk through Washington to witness against violence.  They walked and prayed the Way of the Cross.  The walk and the prayers may be found here.  My priest also offered the same walk through the neighborhood around our church in Norwalk.  I was unable to participate in either one of these walks.  I was, however, able to pray the prayers.  

 

The readings and the meditations and the prayers are quite moving.  I could not read them in one sitting and so chose to spread them out over the day.  Because of the references to Sandy Hook, I was deeply moved and they are quite personal.  I have saved them on my Desktop so I can revisit them in the days to come.  And to remind me of the JUSTICE attitude that I want to make a part of my being.

 

In the meantime we are embarking into the intensity of Holy Week.  Lois, our priest, passed along Praying the Hours which she found here.  I do not know how faithful I can be to these; I have downloaded them also.  I have them on my IPad which is easily accessible.  Sometimes prayers that have been put together by others enhance my own humble offerings to God.

 

All this and I began a dialogue with my SO this morning.  Nothing dramatic.  An opening of a conversation that can continue.  It is a start.  It took a great deal of courage on my part and I stumbled through my opening sentences trying to put some of my thoughts and feelings on the table.  Nothing dramatic.  At least a beginning.  I don't even know if I was really heard.  At least it is a start.  Nothing dramatic.  Low key.  Heartfelt.  A beginning. 

 

THE SLOG IS OVER

Not to mean that Lent is over, but that we are now into Holy Week. The liturgy of Palm Sunday has been laid to rest for yet another year. The palms are still green and flexible and beautiful. The music still echoes in our minds. The Passion has been read -- Matthew this year. I was privileged to read the 'Evangelist' part. I love reading this part because it is the glue that holds it all together. The whole of the congregation participates. We live the story of the betrayal and the condemnation and the crucifixion. But it is only a 'taste' of the story. As the week goes on we will participate more fully in the events that lead to the cross.

And isn't it odd that when I was at the halfway mark of Lent, I thought it would never end. Now I am feeling as though it has sneaked up on me and I am ill prepared. Did I do all those things I wanted to do? Have I been prayerful? What about repentance, self-denial, fasting, reading, meditating? How am I measuring up? And who is doing the measuring anyway.

This is one of the lessons that I have to learn. NO ONE is watching me. NO ONE is keeping score. No one probably even cares. Whatever it is, whatever choices I make, it is between me and God. And it is for that relationship with God that I strive.