PULLING WEEDS

Summer may have ended, the heat has not. I do not turn on the AC because it does cool off at night. But the heat of the day is pretty yuk. This morning as I finished my thirty minutes on the treadmill, the sweat was dripping off my chin and running into my ears. Heat and humidity. And the percent of rain expected today -- 30%. Not going to happen.

Being overcast, and being damp, and maybe the ground has been misted, I think I will run up to church and pull some more green growth out of the curbing of the driveway. Really! We need for the church to look like we care for it. I mean really care for it. Care enough to toil, to sweat some more. I want to get this stuff pulled up so that I can repaint the yellow stripe along the curbing. Won't that be nice. A crisp yellow line that says we care here. We want you to see that we put our time and effort into preparing for your presence here. Come!

MOURNING SUMMER'S END

School has resumed. Bill is back on the school bus driving schedule. That means I am back on the schedule too. Summer is really over. I don't know whether I am mourning it as much as I am resenting it being over. I feel as though I am missing something. Something important and I don't know what it is or where to even look for it.

The only get away time we took was the four days in the Berkshires. Perhaps I am regretting that we did not take more time to just be away from the responsibilities of the house. The thing is -- I love being home. I love this house. I love the yard. I love the feeling of being able to be whatever I want to be and do whatever I want to do -- or not.

Ah, maybe that's it. I didn't DO. Didn't write. Didn't do color pencils. Didn't work on my icons. Didn't knit. Didn't practice anything at all whatsoever. Maybe I am feeling the guilt of time gone by without accomplishment -- something to show for the time. Perhaps, though, this is my own way of renewal. No pressures, no time constraints, no meetings, no obligations. Just allowing time to flow around me and through me and slow me down enough to let me be me.

CRISIS CLEANING

Crisis cleaning is really not a good thing. For one, it reminds me that the crisis should not have happened in the first place. Two, I am frantic and probably not very sane during the cleaning process. Bugs. Little tiny black wheat bugs. In my upstairs bathroom. Hmmmm, no wheat here. Everything comes out of the bathroom cupboard, scooped haphazardly and quickly onto the floor. And left behind? Yuk, tiny, little, black wheat bugs. EWWWWW.

I don't know if they are really called wheat bugs. I just know that they turn up in wheaty things that have been around too long -- pasta, cereal, 'wheaty' stuff. In this case, dog biscuits. I have run up against these things downstairs in the kitchen cupboards when they have caused crisis cleaning there. I have learned to keep track now. Perhaps I should augment some of the sorting and tossing that is going on over at Jeffri's. My sister routinely goes through every drawer and cupboard in her house so she doesn't ever do the crisis cleaning of my ilk.


Sometimes I think my life needs some crisis cleaning. I let things go. They pile up. I get crazy. And then the crisis energy starts. Meeting deadlines, downloading and filing a kazillion digital photos, organizing my desktop -- again, making phone calls, returning e-mails, and on and on and on. Maybe if I were more methodical in my housekeeping and in my life activities, there would be no crises. But then, would I be me?

POST TRAVEL

Safe Home as the family informs one another upon their return from a trip. And I have even done the dreaded unpacking so that now I can actually enjoy the memories unencumbered. I took very few pictures. I seem to have to be in the mood for picture taking. Or have some plan in mind for their use. Lacked that motivation this time.

The Monet exhibit, Drawings and Pastels, was a good fill in for other Monet exhibits I have seen. And the display of many of his sketchbook pages gave me new insights for Moleskin usage. In fact later that same day in a Borders outlet I came upon the Moleskine sketchbooks for $2.99. Grabbed some of those suckers.

From Monet at the Clark Institute we went down to the Norman Rockwell Museum. Much different than when the museum was down the street from the Red Lion Inn. This museum is quite put together, paintings nicely spaced, audio clear and interesting. I remember as a young, young girl going to my grandmother's house and sorting through the stacks and stacks of Saturday Evening Posts looking for Colonel Stoopnagle's. And, yes, we appreciated the covers too. Rockwell was a genius at catching the meaningful moment of life.

Gabriel survived the night at the Animal Inn. In fact we were told that he was a quiet and enjoyable guest. I may take him there again on another trip.

And discussion on the way home was enlightening and hopeful. Yes, we can change our attitudes and our behaviors and make better choices for ourselves to make all relationships better. Life is good.

LOST IN BERKSHIRE COUNTY

It was a simple miscommunication. Can't even say misunderstanding because I understood perfectly. Thought I did, anyway: I came out of the vet's and repeated the instructions to find the Animal Inn. Bill pointed to a spot on the tourist map and said, "Oh, there." I made note of that spot.

That was yesterday when we were searching for a place to board Gabriel for the day. Today, I located the "there" on the tourist map and co-piloted toward that point. It was not long before we were both thinking that we had never been over this route before. BUT "there" was still further. And on we went. After a l o n g a time we both admitted that we were not where we wanted to be.

Turn around? Find another place for Gabriel? I didn't have his papers with me so that necessitated going back. But to where? Finally, it occurred to Bill to have me call information on my cell and get directions. We were miles out of the way. An hour, at least. But we did get Gabriel to the Animal Inn, two hours later than planned, and made arrangements to have him stay overnight so that we could finish the day without time constraints.

Back to the miscommunication: The "there" was a Walmart on the tourist map. The only Walmart on this map was not the Walmart landmark that was on the way to Animal Inn. This was a new Walmart that hadn't made it to the tourist map yet.

Neither of us was right, neither wrong. Just miscommunication. We were both able to apologize and move on. Sometimes relationships work.

VACATION REFLECTIONS

I'm still trying to decide if it is really worth leaving home. But maybe. The pace is slower. There are no time limitations. A wrong turn is a wrong turn not a catastrophe. There is time to relax and not "have to" be or do. I like that. I could get used to the drifting along in time just picking up and doing what catches my fancy and being whatever I feel like being.

This is what time outs are for. To rediscover what it feels like to drift in time. To not have to make decisions in a time frame. To not even have a time frame. I guess I should do this a little more often.

While away we received pictured of my young gand nieces on their first day of school. They look so precious I wanted to share them with the world. And I almost did. Then I thought better of it. There are a lot of bad people out there and I just didn't want to take the chance of exposing these two darlings to any of it. Isn't that a sad comment on life as we live it today.

On a brighter note we found a place to board Gabriel while we see the Monet exhibit tomorrow. It is so wonderful to find helpful people who are willing to go out of their way to accomodate a request. This is a joyful comment on life as we live it today.

We toured the back roads of Berkshire County for most of the day. It is very similar to our part of Connecticut with the addition of the background of the mountains. It is relaxing and actually soothing. I found that when we stopped at the Shaker Museum, I really did not want to trample the way through the dust and in the sun so we opted for the gift shop and went on our way to tour the back roads some more.

PRE TRAVEL

Travel requires planning. What to take. More importantly what not to take. I always forget something important but have too much that is unnecessary. Books. More books that I can possibly read. Not enough tops. Another time not enough bottoms. Always plenty of books, though.

Art supplies. Who knows what fancy may strike. Color pencils? Drawing pads? What size? How many? Always too many, but better more than less in this instance. I'd rather do without deodorant. Well, maybe not.

Spare glasses. Spiral "pages" notebook, pens, ink. Color Prayer Moleskine and color gel pens. Computer. Can't manage without the computer. And that means cords and cables and the mouse. Stuff.

And then there is Gabriel. Dog food, bowls, comb, brushes, scissors, cotton balls, and now eye drops. This little eight and a half pound Shih Tzu requires a bag of his own plus his crate. But, can't leave home without him. And this time am taking his rabies certificate and immunization record, just in case I have to board him for a day.

Upon the return home we just have to unpack all this stuff and disperse it back to where it all belongs. Sometimes wonder if it is really worth leaving home.